Why Children Need Boundaries

Asserting the best way a parent can show their love for their child is by setting physical and emotional boundaries and maintain consistent follow-up.   The consequences of not doing this can be an unhappy child who is seen by others as spoiled and a “brat.”

“Teaching our children the way to behave includes teaching them respect- for self and others and compassion and empathy. These are the priorities in teaching and setting boundaries with our children,” shared today’s guest, Mary Romero, a life coach and author on Parent Choices for Struggling Teens. When asked what boundaries are and their significance, Mary clarified that there is a “vast difference in rules and boundaries: rules are tangible things to do or not to do, and boundaries are the invisible things we try and teach our children. Teenagers tend to test everything and are quite natural at manipulating, so it is especially important that parents need to be on the same page (to be in agreement to what the consequences are if their children cross the boundaries).

When asked what can happen if a parent is “weak” at setting boundaries, Mary explained “that is when you end up with children who believe they can get whatever they want, whenever they want, that children without boundaries tend to be followers, especially when it comes to trying drugs and alcohol. These children often will talk back to their parents, show disrespect and can even act out physically-by rolling their eyes, cussing, slamming doors or even throwing things, a display somewhat known as a temper tantrum.” Children want to know that they are cared about, to feel protected and loved and receiving the attention they need from their parents.  Parents can do so by setting boundaries at an early age.

Children need the parent to be their parent, not their friend- they have lots of friends. A parent (s) needs to be the role model, especially when they are upset by their child crossing the boundaries. They need to approach their child in an appropriate manner, just as they would like to be addressed. And follow thru needs to be immediate and consistent, there must be appropriate consequences and parents must show (or act) with appropriate emotions while issuing the consequences, so that they understand how important these boundaries are.

To listen to the full interview on Why Children Need Boundaries go to http://www.latalkradio.com/Players/Lon-092412.shtmlon LATalkRadio.  

Lon Woodbury is the father of four grown children, a grandparent and is the owner/founder of Woodbury Reports Inc. and www.strugglingteens.com. He has worked with families and struggling teens since 1984 and is the host of Parent Choices for Struggling Teens on LATalkRadio Mondays at 12:00pm, Pacific Time, Channel One.  All shows and links to the shows can be found at LATalkRadio.com. 

Mary Romero is an active Life Coach and the author of “The Breakdown of an All American Family: an autobiography of child abuse, domestic violence and recovery.” Mary specializes in conflict resolution, juvenile/adult relationships and teaching her clients how to live in the here and now. Mary holds an AAS in Human Services and Police Science, a CSC for Substance Abuse Assistance, a CSC in Administration of Justice and is trained in Dialectical Behavior therapy. She may be contacted at 804-330-5091 or visit her website www.wix.com/mcconnell/live-life-coaching.

This segment was sponsored by Spring Ridge Academy, 928-632-4602, www.springridgeacademy.com, a Therapeutic Boarding School for Girls in Arizona.

Woodbury Reportswas founded in November 1989, by Lon Woodbury, MA, IECA, CEP, as an Independent Educational Consulting firm to help parents of teens making poor decisions select a private, parent choice program that would help return the family to normalcy.  Through interviews with parents, communication with professionals who know your child well, and then thoroughly researching viable options, we can help parents make the right choices that will help your child get back on the right path.  For more information about Woodbury Reports Inc., call 208-267-5550, or email to [email protected].