Welcome to the “I’m a Natural Parent – BUT…” CarnivalThis post was written for inclusion in the carnival hosted by The Artful Mama and Natural Parents Network. During this carnival our participants have focused on the many different forms and shapes Natural Parenting can take in our community.***
It’s no big secret that I am part of the natural parenting community. I am a self-described mostly crunchy mama who practices conscious parenting and mindful living practices. But guess what? I am also human.
Yes, human.
That means that I have my strengths and my weaknesses. I have good days and bad days. I have successes and failures. I am awesome and awful all at the same time.
Natural parenting does not mean perfect parenting. I think that in the natural parenting, crunchy community a lot of guilt goes around for not being the “perfect” natural parent. This is a huge shame because at the end of the day, we are all just doing the best that we can right? The important part of being a natural parent is that you strive to parent your children in the most peaceful, attached, compassionate, and gentle manner possible. You attempt to live a natural lifestyle, eating nourishing, wholesome foods, shying away from traditional medicines and favoring a holistic, self-healing course, and showing ecological responsibility by cloth diapering, avoiding toxic cleaners, and replacing disposable products with reusable ones.
But guess what? Life happens. And again, even the most crunchy, granola hippy will have an off day. I know I do.
So into the confessional I go! I am quite sure that you all already know that I am far from perfect. I have already come out of the closet and admitted that I am not a parenting expert. I took you on a 22 week journey of becoming a more mindful mother, something I would not have done had I considered myself the perfect natural parent. So what exactly are my weaknesses and shortcoming when it comes to being a natural parent? What short cuts do I take and what do I overlook? You ready? Here we go!
· Our dog is huge. He has diabetes now and lost a lot of weight but he used to be 150 pounds in his heyday. He is about 3 ½ feet tall. Big dude. Indoor dog. Ginormous water bowl. Tiny falls in it more often than I like. And for some reason, it sends me over the edge. When she falls into the water bowl and stands up covered in dog slobbery goo, I not so gently say “why in the hell can you not stay away from the dog bowl Jesus!” Every time. No matter how hard I try to react warmly or not react at all, those words come flying out. And they come flying out loudly. As in yelling. Yep – this natural parent has moments where she yells at her daughter. Time to burn me at the stake.
· I cuss at the dog too. Not as much as I used to, but the big goober just drives me insane sometimes. And since Tiny is attached to my hip all day, she hears this. Yeah – shame on me. Not only am I teaching her language I do not want her using at such a young age but I am also not modeling compassion.
· Although we use cloth napkins and cloth dishrags, we still use more paper towels than I care to admit. Cleaning up cat barf, dog slobber, and sticky messes is just easier with a paper towel.
· I have given up on my husband’s eating habits. He eats crap. Crap that I purchase. Right now I just do not have the time or energy to fight him on this. His breakfasts and dinners are pretty wholesome but everything in between is junk. So be it.
· As much as I try to remember that Tiny is just “being her age” sometimes being her age is exasperating. I tell her to “hurry up” more than I should.
· We used disposable diapers for the first month of Tiny’s life. Since I had a c-section it was just easier.
· Oh yeah – I had a c-section. Not because I wanted to. It was just what needed to happen.
· My husband and I argue in front of Tiny when we really shouldn’t.
· I have chocolate chips on hand for when I really need to entice Tiny into cooperating and everything else has failed. I swear – these are for emergency situations.
· When I was recently sick with the flu I let Tiny watch copious amounts of television. I had to rest. It was not an option.
So there are you. There is more, lots more I could share but these little tidbits do plenty to illustrate that I am not a perfect parent. I live life by an 80/20 rule. 80% of the time I strive for as close to perfection as possible. The other 20% is just doing what I have to do to get through the day.
Like I said before, we all just do what we can to make it through the day. Sometimes it is beautiful, sometimes it is ugly, and sometimes it is something in between. The important part is that we strive to do our best and when we fail, we take the time to reconnect with our children using our failure as a teaching opportunity.
Life is tough. Parenting is tough. Natural parenting is even tougher. So relax a little and don’t worry if you don’t check every natural parenting box. I don’t. Life is for living. It is too short to waste worrying over perfection. So go out and live it as best you can. Baby steps. It’s all about baby steps.
***
This carnival was created by The Artful Mama and Natural Parents Network. We recognize that “natural parenting” means different things to different families, and we are dedicated to providing a safe place for all families, regardless of where they are in their parenting journeys.
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
(This list will be live and updated by afternoon February 26 with all the carnival links.)
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