New Series of Posts – Parents’ Stories

I’d like to introduce a new series of posts on The Awakened Parent, inspired by this lovely guest post by blogger, Katie Mitchell. She writes about how she found her inner voice as a parent and how that helps her and her family.

I’d really love to publish a whole series of Parents’ Stories posts about examples of when the author’s inner voice was loud enough for them to hear and they had the strength to heed it as well.

Without more ado, here is Katie’s story:

Relearning to Hear My Inner Voice

by Katie Mitchell

I’ve never been one to do things “by the book.” I dropped out of college, quit my full time job during a recession and spend more than I should for our budget.

Granted, I did eventually finish college, the job was more stressful than it was worth and the money goes mostly toward organic produce, but still.

The point is that I trust my inner voice. When it speaks, I listen, and rarely diverge from its plan.

As a first time parent, I’m getting to know a whole new side of that inner voice. I am fortunate in that I have experience with children from my time as a nanny, though being the actual parent is all consuming, and a much more ultimate kind of responsibility. When our daughter Iris was born in March, I immediately wondered if any part of me really knew what I was doing.

It was my initial blundering – the sort that all exhausted new mothers do in those first few days – that spawned my doubt. I’d neglected to change her diaper after every feeding. The nurses needed to remind me to feed my newborn daughter. Breastfeeding was not going as perfectly as I’d planned, and I was certain Iris and I weren’t getting enough skin to skin contact. When it was time to go home from the hospital, I felt like I’d already failed, even if just a little.

Of course this was ridiculous. Iris and I had spent nine months together before her birth, and I already knew her far better than I could imagine. Once I was back in my own home, and a bit less sleep deprived (I’d not had real sleep since three nights before delivery), I relearned how to listen to both of our signals.

I ceased the absurd notion that Iris should eat every two hours. My husband and I quickly found that if I nursed on demand, she might sleep for four or five hours at a time. That alone was reward enough, but I had to continue listening as we went through the next two months.

When our pediatrician was concerned that Iris wasn’t gaining enough weight, it was all I could do to restrain my health anxiety tendencies from combing the Internet for scary possibilities. I reminded myself that my mother, sister and I were all very tiny babies, and that Iris acted well fed and happy. After a few weight checks, the consensus is good growth for our little peanut.

As our family enters the stage of developing motor skills, learning to crawl, teething and, best of all, laughter, I’m feeling more confident in my instinctive mothering skills. It helps that my husband and I now enjoy the positive feedback Iris gives us, such as bright eyes tracking toys and wide, toothless grins that make our hearts burst. The eight hour sleep stretches help as well.

Sure I peek at an article about “normal” development now and then, and I caught the husband cracking our copy of “What to Expect: The First Year”, but responsible education is something we take seriously, as long as it doesn’t get in the way of hearing ourselves.

It’s all about balance, and it’s all about listening.

Katherine E. Reilly Mitchell is a Michigan, U.S. native. After more than six years of marriage, she and her husband became parents to a little girl in March of 2012. In addition to writing, Katherine’s interests are health, history, vegetarian cooking, yoga, traveling and eco-conscious living. She also maintains a personal blog at humantextuality.com. 

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