Fantasy Football Love/Hate Week 9: Fool Me Once, Twice, Three Times a Dum-Dum

I have a confession to make: I still have Michael Vick on my roster. Confession No. 2: I plan on using him as my starter this week against the worst defense in the history of professional football through seven games. He certainly fooled me last year, and likely cost me my fantasy title last year.

Like being stuck in a bad marriage, waiting for your significant other to “change,” I just couldn’t pull the trigger to leave. I even let it linger into this season, keeping Vick at a cheap price and using him as a starter the first three weeks of the season.

Like the conservative I am, fighting change at every turn, I was stubborn. “This will be the week my buddy does it for me. This is the week he’ll prove he isn’t a human turnover machine. This is the week he’ll find DeSean Jackson deep twice, flip one short to Brent Celek in the end zone and dump one off to LeSean McCoy, who’ll weave through defenders for a nice 30-yard score.”

Pick, fumble, sack, flop, run out of bounds, fumble again, overthrow, underthrow. Gulp.

So before Week 4, after a 1-2 start, I traded Mike Wallace for Philip Rivers. And a couple of weeks later, I picked up Josh Freeman, and started him against that same worst defense I mentioned a few paragraphs ago.

While Rivers also has been somewhat of a flop (his receivers have been going down like cranes attached to $90 million penthouses in New York City), just proving I can accept change has infused my team with fresh air that has led me back to a 6-2, division-leading record. (And Freeman gets one more crack at the Saints.)

And that leads me to my long-winded point, one that I have made several times this season. It’s not too late to change. It’s not too late to make the season-saving trade. (Unless you’re 1-7 or 0-8. I’m not that good; no one is. But if you’re 1-7, you’re either really unlucky or you went into your draft with a magazine in one hand and a pizza and a 12-pack of Busch in the other. But I digress.)

Trade deadlines are upcoming. Figure out your greatest need and fix it. Someone in that league of yours is willing to help you out. … He or she just doesn’t know it yet.

LOVE

QUARTERBACK
Michael Vick, Eagles at Saints (30th vs. pass)
While I already explained to you my feelings for Vick, I must let it be known that I plan on cutting him after this week. I suggest you do the same. Of course, you probably weren’t dumb enough to have him on your roster in the first place.
Honorable mention: Carson Palmer, Raiders vs. Bucs (Has been very consistent; needs Denarius Moore to be healthy)

RUNNING BACKS
Montario Hardesty, Browns vs. Ravens (30th vs. run); Phillip Tanner, Cowboys at Falcons (26th vs. run)
It’s still so hard to tell what the deal is with Trent Richardson, but expect Hardesty to get at least 15 touches against what has turned into a really bad defense – especially against the run. … Tanner was a popular pickup last week, but did almost nothing. This is a week where he really could be a factor, especially with DeMarco Murray likely out one more week and Felix Jones banged up – most likely from carrying the football like it was a carrier of some horrid disease.
Honorable mention: Pierre Thomas, Saints vs. Eagles (Think the Saints have realized yet they need to utilize their best running back? We’ll see.); Joique Bell, Lions at Jaguars (If he still is on your waiver wire, probably worth a pick up)

WIDE RECEIVERS
Anquan Boldin, Ravens at Browns (25th vs. pass); Cecil Shorts, Jaguars vs. Lions (9th vs. pass)
Seems like Boldin is a non-factor in so many games since he has headed to Baltimore. But just when you count him out, he comes up big, and the Ravens desperately have something to prove after getting shellacked by the Texans just before their bye week. Expect the veteran to be Joe Flacco’s main target this week. … Detroit is hurting, and Blaine Gabbert is a tough son of a gun. Meanwhile, Shorts has become the go-to guy and is sitting on most owners’ waiver wire. Certainly not a bad fill-in this week and in the near future, especially with a few stud receivers off in Week 11.
Honorable mention: Santana Moss, Redskins vs. Panthers (Targets, scoring going up quickly); Kevin Walter, Texans vs. Bills (Expecting Matt Schaub to have a field day)

TIGHT END
Dwayne Allen, Colts vs. Dolphins (27th vs. pass)
With Coby Fleener out for a while, Allen will be ready to pick up the slack for Andrew Luck. The Dolphins haven’t been very good against opposing tight ends, and the Colts aren’t running the ball well in the red zone. Should open up some opportunities for Allen.
Honorable mention: Brandon Myers, Raiders vs. Bucs (While Tampa Bay will try to stop the long pass, Myers will catch the short ones.)

KICKER: Shaun Suisham, Steelers at Giants (Have a feeling plenty of Steelers drives will fall just short)

HATE

QUARTERBACK
Eli Manning, Giants vs. Steelers (1st vs. pass)
Ahmad Bradshaw’s foot is acting up, as usual, and Victor Cruz is having calf issues (although both likely will play). The Steelers are allowing less than 200 passing yards per game, and the defense knows how much is riding on this pivotal mid-season battle. Going to be a low-scoring affair.
Not-so-honorable mention: Andy Dalton, Bengals vs. Broncos (Pressure will force him into throwing a couple of picks)

RUNNING BACKS
Chris Johnson, Titans vs. Bears (1st vs. run); C.J. Spiller, Bills at Texans (4th vs. run)
For four out of the past five weeks, it has looked as if CJ2K has made it back from the dead, but against tough defenses this season, he has looked like last year’s Chris Johnson. Don’t expect much against a Chicago team that has allowed one rushing TD all season and less than 80 yards per game on the ground. … Spiller, while proving his toughness, is still having shoulder issues. This week, he is up against a defense that hasn’t allowed a rushing score all season.
Not-so-honorable mention: Rashad Jennings, Jaguars vs. Lions (Don’t be fooled – he is no MJD); Benjarvus Green-Ellis, Bengals vs. Broncos (Can you say bust?)

WIDE RECEIVERS
Julio Jones, Falcons vs. Cowboys (3rd vs. pass); Percy Harvin, Vikings at Seahawks (13th vs. pass)
While calling Jones a disappointment this season may be a bit too strong, calling him inconsistent certainly isn’t. And against this defense, which has kept many a star receiver in check this season, and with Dallas’ season on the line early, the Cowboys will look to shut down the Falcons passing game. … Minnesota has one of its toughest matchups of the year, in heading northwest to face a defense that has allowed just nine passing touchdowns all season. Harvin is hurting a bit, probably from overuse, and Christian Ponder is struggling against aggressive defenses.
Not-so-honorable mention: Jordy Nelson, Packers vs. Cardinals (Probably will play, but I’m not risking it); Steve Johnson, Bills at Texans (Stingy, mean defense will have something for him)

TIGHT END
Jared Cook, Titans vs. Bears (18th vs. pass)
While the Bears haven’t been the greatest against the pass, they have been tough in the red zone, allowing just six passing touchdowns so far. That doesn’t bode well for Cook, who has seen his targets drop the past couple weeks.
Not-so-honorable mention: Kyle Rudolph, Vikings at Seahawks (Um, where has he gone?)

KICKER: Blair Walsh, Vikings at Seahawks (Minnesota won’t be putting many points on the board)

MY WEEK 9 LINEUPS (as of Thursday)

FINKS FOOTBALL LEAGUE (touchdown-heavy scoring, 3 pts passing TD, no PPR, 20-team keeper
league with two separate conferences – which have separate drafts — of 10 teams)
MojoXpress (6-2, won 35-27)
Starters: MVick, MLynch, LMcCoy, PHarvin, CalJohnson, DenMoore (flex), JFinley, SGraham
Bench: PRivers, JFreeman, ABradshaw, BTate, AlexGreen, JNelson, TYoung, RMoss, JDreesen, DAkers

WHO DAT LEAGUE (mostly standard scoring, 6 pts passing TD, no PPR, 12-team keeper league)
Squirrel Pool (2-6, lost 87-66)
Starters: MStafford, TRichardson, MLynch, VCruz, AntBrown, ABoldin (flex), DPitta, Dolphins Def, GHartley
Bench: PRivers, AlGreen, KBritt, MHardesty, MkWilliams, RMoss, JFinley, BWalsh