The Backdoor Cover: Week 10 NFL Picks

A wise man once had two sayings: 1.) Never start a land war in Asia and 2.) Never cap the NFL in a hurry.

They make sense. Think about it, let’s start with the game or RISK. The whole key is building up some sort of “home-base” where you can build your strength. If you can gain control of a continent to get the extra armies, this is where you will dominate.

Where can this not be done? Well, Europe is really hard to defend but mostly ASIA. It’s enormous and by the time you work to defend it, you’ll be attacked by larger armies that have been biding their time. If you want to win, conquer Australia or second-choice South America.

Last week was my worst week of the season and first time I didn’t have my normal routine of looking at games. Now is not the time for excuses, but the time to learn what went wrong and win again. I’ll still take a winning record vs. a losing one at this stage of the season. I’m going to blame the bad mojo on the election. Not the results, just people acting like I care about their opinions. Unless they are going to end the charade of “non-legal” betting, I don’t care about your platform.

Just a quick check-in on my thoughts on television: The Walking Dead is in rare form these days but I hope they don’t think they need constant “shock” moments to keep the audience interested. I’ve always been a big Happy Endings fan and now the B in apt 23 is not bad, turns out that show’s creator was an American Dad show runner so it’s no wonder it falls in my wheelhouse. I get in a lot of arguments with friends/family/coworkers/random twitter people over Modern Family. It’s not that I don’t like the show at times, it’s just the most overrated thing on television today. I hope Phil Dumfey (sp?) makes 10x whatever the rest of the cast makes, cause he’s actually funny. The other characters have never gotten past their original stereotype for easy jokes. Gloria has a funny accent you guys! But I digress………I’ll never forget you T-Dogg. “Awww hell nawwwww”

On to the picks!

Season record (31-25-2)

Last week (2-6)

NFL

JACKSONVILLE+3 vs. Colts – I’d rather have my eyelids propped open and forced to watch 72 straight hours of CHICAGO FIRE (I’ve never once seen a moderately attractive female firefighter, let alone multiple smoking {

OAKLAND +7.5 vs. Ravens – Notice how every fantasy expert is recommending Reece over Taiwan Jones this week. Wait and see, it will be Jones that rips off a long run or two. You do NOT bet against Carson Palmer when he plays in Baltimore. I just made that up but it sounds like it would work. Until I’ve seen otherwise, the Ravens D isn’t good enough to justify more than a TD.

MINNESOTA +2 vs. Lions – Lions covering two weeks in a row as a road favorite? Not happening. I’m going to put my head in the sand concerning Ponder’s regression, Harvin’s lame ankle and their falling-apart defense. Their stadium has a Viking horn. All I need to know. The kicker is I would rather visit Minnesota than Detroit.

NEW ORLEANS +1 vs. Falcons – New Orleans is better than Atlanta in every possible way except for professional baseball and professional football. There is a reason this line is so low. Just take the money line for slightly better odds. Bobby Hebert will probably make it to the third quarter before being escorted out of the stadium for this game since he played for both.

HOUSTON +1 vs. Bears – Knock knock. Whose there? (besides worn-out joke setups) Bad Jay Cutler. *Immediately tasers self* No one likes when Bad Jay Cutler comes to town. It’s been awhile since Chicago played a decent team, I think the universe balances itself out Sunday night.

CINCINNATI +4 vs. Giants – I’ll take the Bengals to get the cover after losing last week as a home dog. They know the season is getting away from them. Kinda like college football. There are roughly three weeks left in the season. It’s mind-boggling and unfair.

ST. LOUIS +11 vs. 49ers – Two teams coming off byes, I’ll take the eleven points. I trust Bradford to air it out enough with his assortment of weapons (welcome back Danny A!) to keep it within ten. I’m always told I need to visit San Francisco. I drink cheap wine and dislike windy, hilly roads. I guess it would okay to see giant trees. I think that’s near there.

SAN DIEGO +3 vs. Buccaneers – Buy the hook. Never not buy the hook when you and Norv Turner are knocking over liquor stores. Did you know that Buccaneers have the worst pass D in the league? Yea, I doubt Rivers is the guy to exploit that very much. Of course their run D is best in the NFL so my Ryan Matthews disappointment continues. I’m beginning to think putting his FATHEAD on the ceiling of my bedroom was a mistake.

MIAMI -6 vs. Titans – Hey, look at that! A Favorite! And it’s one of my favorites, even though they didn’t cover for me last week. It wasn’t for a lack of effort, they played pretty well. I just can’t quit you Miami. They have just the type of mediocre offense to get a lead and the type of above-average D to keep it against the Titans. I also like saying I bet on the fish.

SEATTLE -6 vs. Jets – I hate betting against a team coming off a bye (Jets) but I hate even more betting on the Jets, so that was the tiebreaker. Nothing like a 20-7 game that I don’t pay attention to Sunday afternoon. You know what else I don’t pay attention to? Sidewalk crossings. Man, just wait til you see no cars coming.

PITTSBURGH -11 vs. Chiefs – A lot of points on MNF and we lost earlier this year taking Houston in a similar spot, but they were a road team (Loophole #1) and PIT’s offensive coordinator wants revenge on his former team (Loophole #2) and the team we will be betting against is god-awful (Loophole #3) These loophole’s combines means we can throw betting history away and take the big favorite in primetime. Enjoy the beating!

Good luck!