No Title, but 1-800-273-8255

I didn’t know what to title this post.  An acquaintance of mine passed away the other day and we think it was suicide.  He was battling a lot of demons.  If you are curious, he was in the Eurodollars.  Lots of ex-trading floor guys are.  I know those demons.  The number is the National Suicide Prevention Hotline.

When I go to seminars on “the future of work”, I talk openly about this.  I have a very unique perspective.  Most of the time the place is packed with bureaucrats and elites who are secure in their occupation no matter what happens or who is in power.  They have the right degrees from the right schools and knew the right people. When I tell people I was automated out of a job, they pass it off or don’t believe me.  People like me and you don’t have a shot at a career like that.  Of course, most of us wouldn’t want it anyway.

Literally, we were automated out of a job.  At the i7/G7 in Torino last year, I talked about this to the rest of the people in the room.  It became a data point.  Brushed over.  But that data point is turning elections and putting fear into the people that knew the right people and have the right degrees.

The rise of the robots happened to the people on the floor first.  It’s instructive as to the aftermath.  Why are people so depressed?  I went through a long long depression which was magnified by some other things that I would rather not talk about publicly.  But, people can be shitty.

What was the trading floor?  It was more than the money.   It was a place of belonging.  It was a place of identity.  It was a physical social network.

When you are making $1000-$30,000 every day you wake up in the morning and put your trading jacket on and the well literally runs dry and starts reaching in your pocket and pulling out the same, you get a wake up call in a hurry.

The rug was pulled away very quickly and no one had a way to adjust.  Some did.  A teeny percentage were able to make money trading.  Some were able to fall back on family businesses.  Some had family money.  When you are a trustifarian and your occupation goes away they just go back to being trustifarians.  Some had made a lot of money and kept it.  They just hang out and keep themselves busy.  Others that made a lot of money and kept it started other businesses.  Some made a lot of money and lost it.  Tragic.  Some spent everything they made while they were making it.  That’s where the self loathing really really starts to gnaw on you.

Lots of us became real estate brokers, wealth managers and other jobs like that in which you could be your own boss and chart your own course.  The money isn’t the same but at least you have a reason to get up in the morning.  Definitely not as ego satisfying and exciting as being a floor trader.

Remember, the interest rate futures really jumped the shark between 2002-04.  It took the equities a little longer.  The ags did it between 2007-09.  Most of us held all of our assets in our trading account, seat, and stock.  The seat and stock tanked causing people to lose millions of dollars they had no control over.  It’s different when you lose it trading and you are calling the shots.

I cannot relay to you the sense of despair a lot of traders felt, and some still feel.  Just writing this post brings back memories of the way I used to feel and I don’t like it.

A lot of people have talked about depression and suicide and I am glad they did.  But, while it is never easy, it’s easier to do when you have money in the bank and don’t have to fear losing it all.  I think that is what is most shocking about Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain.

They lost a sense of hope.  They lost a sense of purpose.  They lost a sense of belonging.  They couldn’t provide for their families.  They were beyond embarrassed.  They didn’t have the resume experience, nor the “elite” experience to transition to a job like consulting where they could knock down the same amount of money they did on the floor.  Anger simmered in a cauldron that was consistently heated and never cooled.

When I hear that there is an opioid crisis among men, it doesn’t surprise me.  I know why.  The Trump voters in the hinterlands that are held up for derision by the elites are not that far removed from those of us on the trading floor that were disenfranchised by technology.   Not only that, the entire system is stacked against them.

A person can wind up in a vicious downward cycle that doesn’t end.  It’s extremely hard to break on your own and the reality is you can’t.  Some say turn to religion but it’s pretty hard to do when you have so much fear.

When we were on the floor and tough stuff happened, you could find someone somewhere to pick you up if you were a stand up guy.  If you were a jerk, not so much.  I saw some pretty amazing things done by people to help other people on the floor.  Once those days ended, no one knew where to turn.

If we are going to cure this problem, the answer isn’t in government programs.  The answer is in government policy.  Tax credits for retraining is a good idea.  But, the incentive has to be self driven.  If it comes from inside, the result will be much much better.  Less bureaucracy and red tape means more room for self-determination.

As Arthur Brooks wrote in his book The Conservative Heart, there is dignity in just plain working.  That is another reason why minimum wage laws are so stupid and ideas like basic income are wrong headed and don’t align with the way humans are constructed.

I remember after I graduated from MBA school and I talked to a head hunter about getting a job in venture capital.  After a five minute conversation, she said I wasn’t qualified.  I talked to people about job after job, not qualified.  I tried to use my college networks but the doors were closed.  I couldn’t get a corporate job.  I woke up and really had nothing to do.  You could manufacture some stuff but it was super super hard.  No one that could help would help.  No one.

When you asked people for a chance, they wouldn’t give it to you.  Yet, publicly they would be all about how much they helped people out.  Even when you would go out of your way to help them, they wouldn’t reciprocate.

Allow me to digress.

Then, there was the discrimination.  In Chicago, it’s exponentially tougher when you are true conservative  Republican.  I am not talking about the ones the elites trot out that do their bidding. Thinking a perfect example is that former Exelon CEO.  Sheesh.

I had people flat out tell me they wouldn’t invest with me because I was Republican even after doing due diligence, looking at my track record and telling me it was great and talking to people I had invested in getting back glowing reports.  That was back in 2014-15!  Imagine those same people today.  They got to be seething.

We are seeing this discrimination play out time and time again today.  It’s going to get worse because the left is full of elitists that think they know better.  They will justify any behavior.  Maxine Waters isn’t the first, and she won’t be the last.

We are at a point in the venture community where if you don’t pass a political test many VCs won’t do business with you.  I pity the Republican with a great business that pitches a VC that has this bent.  I know of entrepreneurs that won’t do business with a VC that employs a Republican.  They justify their racism by any means necessary.  It is just like racism by the way.  No different.  Tolerance isn’t something that these people understand.  Their heads are in the sand and they remain staunchly in their bubbles.  Confused you might say-or they might say.

End of digression.

I didn’t want to leave Chicago because of the potential here for the vision that I had.  I knew the city.  Other than that, I had no reason to stay other than familiarity.   I don’t have any immediate family here on either side.  Chicago is a great city but it has a shitload of problems and some of the worst entrenched political leadership in American history.  One of my children is here, but to be honest, I encourage her to leave because there is better opportunity for what she wants to do elsewhere.  For what I want to do, the opportunity is here.  If the potential political policies that are being proposed screw it up, I will follow the opportunity because I am certain it will leave.

I could hang it up if I wanted to but I know what the alternative is and I can’t go there.  I was also extremely lucky to find a partner that was willing to give it a go.  If he wouldn’t have, I am certain I wouldn’t be in this city.

The greatest thing about what we am doing today is the fact that each and every day we get to help an entrepreneur realize their dream.  We get to connect someone to someone to realize a dream.  We get to talk to LPs and try and give them a return so they can realize their dreams.  It takes money to fuel the tank, but it’s much more than that.

I was lucky I had good mentorship from early friends on the floor and was lucky I had a wife that understood.  Patience of Job.  I took the time to cultivate those relationships and I still have them today.  If you want to build a great network, it cannot be transactional.  You have to give before you get.  A lot.  If you are not a warrior about giving before you get, no one will fight for you.

Others weren’t so lucky.  Divorces?  Tons.  Deaths? A lot.  At least 15-20 suicides over the years.  Debts?  A lot.  It gets so you sometimes don’t want to talk to someone from the floor for fear of hearing all the bad stories.  “Tell me something good”, you’d hear from another trader, “Tell me something good.”

Desparation.

Go talk to the bartenders around town that used to serve lots of drinks and get lots of tips from traders.  They will tell you.

It is sometimes very very hard to find the good.  But, if you look hard enough, you can find it.  Sometimes it’s just deep within you and you have to stop trembling so it can make its way to the surface.

National Suicide Prevention Hotline number is 1-800-273-8255.  Call it if you need it.  Let them help you.  Don’t want to call?  Walk to a church.  Any church.  Even if you are an atheist.  Just sit in the pew for awhile and stare at the alter.  Breathe.

Once you get help from the pros, maybe people like me can point you in the right direction.  If you want to be virtual, try Regroup Therapy.  But, if you are in that deep I’d probably go for something more hands on.

If you are an old trader and you made it through, it’s incumbent on you to find ways to help.  I know a lot that don’t care and it’s all about them.  That’s probably why they were good traders.

Most of the time helping won’t cost you money.  It will cost you a phone call or an introduction-or just a conversation.  Small price to pay for what you took out of the place.

Hope you have a great day.  I am going to work.  There are people I can help today.

If it suddenly ended tomorrow,
I could somehow adjust to the fall.
Good times and riches and son of a bitches,
I’ve seen more than I can recall-Jimmy Buffet