Well, there’s 2 hours of my life I’ll never get back. I feel bad for the people who actually paid to see that nonsense we sat through at the Chicago Theater last night. Most just wanted to see the tranwreck that has become Charlie Sheen for themselves like some kind of zoo exhibit. Which, fine… I guess that’s why I was there too, but good grief…$80 to see a misogynistic asshat glorify himself for two hours? Yeah… not so much.
I personally had half a dozen eggs stashed in my purse should a repeat of Detroit happen and I would get the opportunity to egg Charlie Sheen myself, but unfortunately, whatever synapses in that swiss cheese grey matter of his are still firing, had him re-work the show into more of a structured, interview type deal rather than a blazing manifesto of insanity that was the Detroit show.
And how can you not enjoy a show that starts with a chant of ‘Detroit Sucks’ and opens with a Charlie Sheen poem about how much Detroit sucks?
So the show was lame and a lot of story telling. He reminded me of that guy on everyone’s block as a kid that had some kind of glory days in his youth but something happened along the way, so he spent his entire life from middle age on telling the same five stories over and over again sitting in a lawn chair, swilling a Busch Light. Charlie Sheen was that guy last night. Except the guy in his lawn chair on your block as a kid didn’t hate his ex wives as much as Sheen does, referring to his soon to be ex wife Brooke Mueller as a ‘kidnapper bitch’.
Gee Chuckles, you’re swell.
Are you bored hearing about this yet? Because I’m bored typing about it. Basically he said heloved his costar Jon Cryer, and said he would go back to work if they asked him back. I had to giggle at that because he pays over $100,000 a month in child support. Tickets for this crapfest ‘show’ were going for $35 on the curb and there were a lot of empty seats last night. That ain’t going to pay the bills, though.
There was one thing I found to be slightly insightful and interesting last night and that was his being rather frank about his love of hookers. He just came right out and said he pays for sex because he can and owes Hollywood Madame and former Celebrity Rehabber, Heidi Fleiss, a couple of million bucks. So that made me raise my eyebrows a bit.
I don’t know… he’s just not that entertaining of a dude. Yay, you got high for the first time with Chris Penn… ooooohhhh you were going to be the Karate Kid, but your dad told you it would bomb (only if Charlie was in it)… yay, you hate everyone and everything that doesn’t genuflect in your glory… but we can watch this stuff for free on You Tube. If this tour is going to not be the ‘Violent Torpedo of What’s Left of A Career’ the most interesting thing cannot be the T-Shirts for sale.
That dude, isn’t WINNING. It’s Lame.
