A Hundred Words for Happiness

What is Happiness?

by Sofia Karin Axelsson

Here is a brief experience that opened my eyes to a hundred words for happiness.

Some time ago, I found myself in the uncomfortable situation of being overwhelmed, stressed, and still persistently trying to do too many things at the same time. Ambivalent feelings, grand, creative impulses, but nothing created, in combination with stress over a thousand details that just had to fall into place, had brought me to a state of light frenzy. My solar plexus was spinning on overdrive, while my mind was building plans, that fell apart as soon as they were about to be put into place. You know how it is. We all want to be so sane, cool, and behave as those white-clad people in the commercials; or at least be a little closer to the easygoing people who grow fresh oregano in the kitchen, always know what to say, and smile as if nothing really bothers them. But so often we find ourselves being everything but. Life circumstances, worries, and shortcomings take over and we find ourselves a mess. Just as I did this particular day.

So I did what so many women do in this situation: I went into cleaning frenzy, cleared out cupboards and wardrobes alike, at the same time as I did physical exercise.

While doing this, I listened to my favorite music from the 80’s and 90’s: YouTube clips played on my computer, showing the expected, silly music videos of those times. Very soon I was sweaty, covered in dust, and had spider webs plastered over my hair. My self-image, and my physical appearance as well, was as far from the perfection that is all too easy to strive for. Then, right in the middle of Guns and Roses’ ‘You Could Be Mine,’ the computer screen went black. It just died, which hadn’t ever happened before with this computer that was relatively new and dependable. I stopped myself in my tracks, and stood perfectly still on the floor, staring at the computer screen, while breathing heavily. A seemingly random thought went through my head. I was thinking: