The Problem With Christmas Today & Why It Depresses me

Today’s Christmas is a multi million dollar event. Even tv, get’s to me, as the holiday commercials begin. Bombarded with scenes of happy families eating, and gifts, gifts, and more gifts……………smiles all around. Reality is that it causes expectations which are totally ungraspable for many of us, even if mentally we are not aware it is effecting us. I found myself recently happily making lipbalms for my family. I was thrilled that one, I could do it being chronically ill, and in bed a lot, and 2nd I could afford to do it, as it cost little.My happiness was cut short, by my oldest and youngest, who both live with me asking, why are you making all those!? Both saying, I wont use them. I was suddenly heartbroken, and depressed. I went into my room, and broke down in tears. This whole Christmas experience, since I have gotten ill, and get older, is nothing more then a depressing look at people, society as a whole to me. My kids also are part of that problem, I am aware…………..and I wonder, when did they become so uncaring and ungrateful? Don’t get me wrong, they as all kids, can be great at times and bring me joy, but let’s be honest, kids can hurt you like no other person can. P.S. I do come out and talk to my kids as these kinda things happen, because I believe if they are aware, hopefully it helps them know and be more caring of a person. Oh, I got sidetracked……….back to the topic. I have watched as I get older, people getting handmade, or thoughtful gifts, as in one’s religion, and it may not be the gifted person’s religion, but hey, the thought is still there………….being not happy, or disgusted, by the gift. How many heartfelt gifts are just thrown away, as one says hurtful, mean things about it? That is just not right to me. Commercialism is winning out, and he who pays the most wins, in so many people’s lives anymore. I thoroughly enjoy being given a thoughtful gift, at any time of the year, hell I enjoy a phone call, just being thought of. My favorite things are simple, or handmade. I do not buy into this whole holiday thought of, you must give gifts at these times of the year, because it’s a holiday, but I do try, as to not hurt other’s feelings, and like this year I get my feeling’s hurt in return. I am sure as my son told me, after I went to him crying saying how much it meant to me just to be able to make the gifts. He said, Mom I am sure someone will be thrilled to be given your lipbalms. Hmmm…………thanks? It makes me want to turn it all the way back, to doing nothing, on the man made holidays, everything be on my terms in my life. Give a gift as I see something, and pick it up because it reminds me of someone, or make something out of the blue, for someone. This year, I had said I was only doing stocking stuffers, and was thrilled when my kids agreed. Now I am rethinking even that. Christmas was fun as a kid, as I grow older I no longer see the joy in it. Before I was sick I struggled with the greediness, the story telling, of things I had issue with. As I age my holidays change. Mostly to nothing as I am homebound, and everyone else is off running around. I do not miss the running around truth be told, but I do miss my family. For now I will just be grateful that I get to see my kids and grandkids on Christmas( I hope). Let me say one more time for the record, a heartfelt, simple, handmade, gift is a wonderful thing! To be appreciated, thought of, and loving, is a wonderful thing! A phone call, an actual voice talking with you, is a wonderful thing! Less technology, and more humanity, empathy, love is a wonderful thing!

I hope this does not come off as me just whining, or complaining about my kids, whom I love with all my heart and soul. I just thought, it may help other’s who feel the same, feel less frustrated. 

Hugs & Loves.