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The Inevitability of Codependency and How to Break the Pattern

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May 10th, 2022

By Richard West

Guest Writer for Wake Up World

“The biggest lie we’re told is ‘Be with someone who makes you happy.’ The truth is, happiness is something you create on your own. Be with someone who adds to it.”

~ Unknown

“Codependency is inevitable” – this was the realization I reached after many years of trying to figure out just why I and almost everyone around me shows some sign of it. Some more, some less, but the only people who don’t have it are the ones that have spent time working on it.

So let me take you on a journey of thought and reflection. It starts with my own story and finishes with some pretty unique perspectives on codependency, how it’s formed and what to do about it.

First let’s define it so we know what we’re dealing with here – Codependency happens when someone needs another to behave in a certain way in order to feel happiness or completion.

For me this felt normal. It was the case in my early relationships and I was okay with it because I imagined that this was the accepted paradigm and there wasn’t any other way.

It took codependency slapping me in the face to really overcome it. It happened in my 3rd relationship. It was a whirlwind romance. We were living together practically after the 3rd date.

It felt amazing, blissful, complete. Sound familiar?

We had a child together – then we moved from England (my home country) to Austria (her home country). That’s where it all changed.

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