For Those Lost at Sea, Hiding From Life, Missing the Light

April 13th, 2021

By Andriana Eloha

Guest writer for Wake Up World

This article is a letter, which was originally written as a response to an individual who I have known for a number of years since their pre-teens. Some time ago this, now adult, with no physical disabilities of any kind and more than enough social advantages, got stuck in a self-induced psychological and spiritual crisis/drama where they voluntarily chose to remain. The reason is simple: the pain of their current discomfort does not yet exceed the fear of the new (=unfamiliar) experience.

The parents of this individual, as is usually the case in the circumstance of this particular kind, have provided them with excessive support across the board, not realizing that after the age of 6 or so, kids require not a parent acting as a nanny but a parent acting as a life teacher/coach. The one who consistently and everywhere encourages the kid to be capable and self-reliant, willing to explore and apply their potential in unfamiliar and new situations without constant parental supervision or presence.  As a consequence of never stepping into the role of life coach to prepare their kid for life, not protect them from it, these parents deprived their kid, later teenager and now adult of healthy and necessary life challenges, dealing with which usually trains the kid/teen in the art of self-empowerment and creates so called “I can” states.  Naturally, it has backfired. Co-dependency has become this young adult priority, since it is more familiar and thus more desirable for them, while self-sufficiency, independence, self-reliance, initiative, exploration of the unfamiliar, risk taking and conscious personal development is now seen by this individual as scary and dangerous, rather than inspiring, desirable and energising.

All personal identifiers related to this person, above and below this point are intentionally anonymised, hence my choice of wording and pronouns for this article, no other reason.

When I had finished my written response to this individual, the reason for which will be given later, I realized that the information presented in this letter maybe useful for others who are experiencing the same or similar predicament. And I do happen to know one other such person, coincidentally, of the exact same age, sex, level of education, etc., who created the exact same problem for themselves under the exact same conditions, on the other side of the planet. I presume, the information below may also be valuable for parents who still have a chance to correct their parental mistakes in the area where the balance between support and challenge they have offered their children is seriously off and must be corrected before serious damage to their kids development is done and gone unnoticed. This article may also be informative for the family friends of such individuals. Those friends, who genuinely want to help them but realize that no one and nothing can help the one, who is unwilling to help himself/herself, and becoming a nanny of a capable and perfectly healthy adult is simply ridiculous. Thus, for those who metaphorically speaking, “have healthy bodies, yet demand wheelchairs for life” (or their friends and family), this article is written.

CONTINUE READING:

Also by Andriana Eloha:

• Attention Starseeds: What You Need to Know Right Now
• Global Games That Tyrants Play – and People Who Agree to be Played With

• PINTEREST]: http://pinterest.com/wakeupword/

  [TWITTER]:  http://twitter.com/joinwakeupworld

  [YOUTUBE]: http://www.youtube.com/joinwakeupworld          

  [GOOGLE PLUS]: https://plus.google.com/112452105795129310867/posts

  [WEBSITE]: http://wakeup-world.com