True Alzheimer's story-Where have you been?

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Jon Vezner

When Kathy Mattea first sang, “Where’ve You Been”, she wondered to herself, “Do people want to hear this on the way to work?” To her surprise, radio stations could not play it often enough, as the song struck a deep chord in millions of people. It became the world’s 1st song about dementia to top pop-music charts. It won Song of the Year at the Grammys, CMAs and ACMs.

This song was written by Jon Vezner who later became Kathy Mattea’s husband. He wrote the song about his grandparents, after personally witnessing the scene depicted in the last verse of the song. Kathy Mattea recalled later that when he told her the story, he could barely speak without crying. Eventually he wrote a song about the incident and played it for her after the #1 party for her hit, “Goin’ Gone.”

Kathy Mattea recalls: “We went upstairs to the listening room, and when the first chorus went down, my head spun around. I knew the story, and I couldn’t believe he wrote it in a song.” Several artists were approached to record the song and everyone turned it down, saying that no one would be able to sing the song without crying. Eventually Kathy Mattea agreed to record the song.

Says Kathy Mattea: “The song is a true story about Jon’s grandparents. They had both gotten very sick and were in the same hospital, but didn’t know it. His grandmother had been slowly losing it, and she didn’t recognize anybody. She was in unfamiliar surroundings, so she finally quit talking altogether. Jon was there visiting, and he was up seeing his grandfather; he said to the nurse, ‘Has anybody brought him down to see her?’ She said, ‘no,’ and he asked if he could do that. They said yes, so he wheeled his grandfather into his grandmother’s room. His grandfather kept stroking her hair, saying, ‘Look at her hair, nobody has hair like grandma,’ and she looked at him and said, ‘Where have you been?’ It was the first thing she had said in weeks.

“When Jon told me the story for the first time, it was before we had even gotten engaged, and he just cried and cried. When he played the song for me and the first chorus came around, I knew where he was going with the lyric, and I just couldn’t believe he could be that vulnerable as a writer, to put that moment in a song.”

The song was Matteas biggest hit, winning her a Grammy. It also won Song of the Year at the Grammys, CMAs and ACMs. While Mattea had wondered to herself, “Do people want to hear this on the way to work?,” the song struck a deep chord, and it was the first time Alzheimer’s had been captured in a mainstream hit song
LyricsWhere’ve You Been?

Claire had all but given up
when she and Edwin fell in love.
She touched his face and shook her head.
In disbelief, she sighed and said,
“In many dreams I’ve held you near.
Now at last you’re really here!”

“Where have you been?
I’ve looked for you forever and a day.
Where have you been?
I’m just not myself when you’re away.”

He asked her for her hand for life,
and she became a salesman’s wife.
He was home each night by eight,
but one stormy evening he was late.
Her frightened tears fell to the floor,
until his key turned in the door…

“Where have you been?
I’ve looked for you forever and a day.
Where have you been?
I’m just not myself when you’re away.”

They never spent a night apart.
For sixty years she heard him snore.
Now they’re in a hospital,
in separate beds on different floors.

Claire soon lost her memory,
forgot the names of family.
She never spoke a word again.
Then one day they wheeled him in.
He held her hand and stroked her head,
and in a fragile voice she said…

“Where have you been?
I’ve looked for you forever and a day.
Where have you been?
I’m just not myself when you’re away…
No, I’m just not myself when you’re away.”

Here is a great dementia resource for caregivers and healthcare professionals.

Here is a way for nurses administrators, social workers and other health care professionals to get an easy ceu or two.