Remy: Dogecoin Rap

There are various indicators showing that the U.S. could be headed for a currency crisis. One of them has paws.

Written and performed by Remy; music tracks and mastering by Ben Karlstrom; video produced by Meredith and Austin Bragg

Photos: Stefani Reynolds—Pool via CNP / MEGA / Newscom/RSSIL/Newscom; Greg Nash—Pool via CNP/picture alliance / Consolidated News Photos/Newscom; Andrew Harnik—Pool via CNP / MEGA / Newscom/RSSIL/Newscom

LYRICS:
Coming up: Bad news for savers as even those with high-interest savings accounts
are seeing their money disappear thanks to inflation
But first, we’ll detail every possible thing you could die from

He’s a rational investor, dividend digester
Saves some of his paycheck just like all his ancestors
Him looking for high yields? That’s never the case
He’s seeking six percent returns, slow and steady wins the race!

But when he checks his accounts just to see what they’re fielding
It’s like driving in Maryland—ain’t nobody yielding
What is he to do? He shouldn’t be in a drought
So he visits his adviser just to sort it all out

Inflation’s higher than your bond rates
That’s what I was fearing
And so your savings account is slowly disappearing
And your CDs are pointless
That’s not very funny
What would you like me to do?
Put it all in dog money

Dog money, dog money, dog money, dog money
I’m trading it in for dog money
Dog money, dog money, dog money, dog money
I’m putting it all in dog money

My 401(k) is now a 401(K9)
The sum of my net worth ain’t no longer in a straight line
I’m making smart moves, I ain’t gonna be a pun
I sold my IRA and bought an NFT of one

All in on doge, I dish ‘em out like a Tommy gun
You’d think I was statehood the way I’m passing on Washingtons
I feel like Matt Gaetz, you know what I mean?
Assuring everybody it’s above 18

It’s a modern-day gold rush, the prices’ll boom
Like Reggie White vs. the Oilers, I’m heading straight to the moon
My broker’s calling? You KNOW that it’s on
Buy dog money, don’t stop till it’s dawn

One more air base, two more museums
Three more walls, four more Supremes
Five more stadiums—we’re all out of fiat?
Can you take trillions of these and go and make a xerox?

We pay our debts in our currency, that might be unfurled
If it’s no longer the reserve currency of the world
Confidence in the dollar is permanent, just ask any scholar!
People are exchanging their dollars for dog money
Dog money?
Dog money
Dog money…

We’re trading it in for dog money!
Dog money, dog money, dog money, dog money
I’m putting it all in dog money