Bullies

We think of bullies as people who are younger , school age perhaps. Bullies however can be 40, 50, or 80 years old. Bullies are people who give you the “my way or the highway” attitude, no matter what their age. Most people grow up or have experiences that teach them that bullying is not the way to be, but unfortunately more and more are not learning the lesson.

They are the ones who give ultimatums that are unreasonable, unfair and manipulative. They are the ones who threaten your livelihood, your happiness, your health. They are the ones who use guilt trips, abuse, and mind games, to make you do things you would not normally do.

We usually picture bullies as the people who physically threaten. They do, but today there is a worse kind of bully, the passive aggressive. They have even less courage than the bullies o the 50′s and 60′s who took your lunch and threatened to give you a black eye…. because they try to present themselves as peaceful. They are doing it “for your own good”, they are “doing things the way the are supposed to be done”, they will pull out family history, tradition, or religion and twist it, as a means to cover their arguments and to get you to do what they want.

When there is a price tag of any sort, on doing something, don’t do it. Stand up to bullies, expose them, and do not allow them to bully others. They are usually those with more bark than bite. Some are outright crazy, yes, and they have to be handled in a specific way, but do not allow that to slow you down. Whenever you allow a bully to succeed, they become stronger, they also may now prey harder on people around you. They take any sign of backing down or weakness as a green lag to step up the bullying.

Never allow someone to tell you that you better do something “or else”, you do not need those people in your life. Don’t run away, that just creates a stronger bully for someone else to have to deal with, but deal with them as best you can. I told a client once that she always ran away when things didn’t go well, how far was she going to run. She had an epiphany that day and after 14 jobs in 2 years, finally settled down to one and moved up in the company.

You cannot run away from bullies, they are everywhere, but you can effectively deal with them, and you should.  It is past time to stop bullying on every level, starting in your home, your job and your life. Take a stand against bullying now and continue to stay strong, It is a serious problem in our society today. They are 50 some year old women, and 10 year old boys, they are any age, gender, and culture. It is important to stay strong and take a stand against bullying as it has become a serious problem in this country.

NEVER allow a bully to have their way.

Peshaui Wequashimese

(C)2013 Dr R M Wolf. May not be used, copied or reproduced without prior written permission.