Jokes and Real Life: from Iran to Brazil

“Iranians and many others try to have a positive attitude towards real life, problems and sad events. They try to make a joke of many things. They know what is really important, and what is not. Now even Brazilians say: ‘Soccer is just an illusion and we need to wake up to reality’. Brazil is changing. The world is actually changing. Many people are becoming disillusioned. Now even Brazilians know that if you see sports/ soccer as everything, and close your eyes to poverty and real problems, you just make a fool of yourself, and worsen your problems”, some wise Iranians say. They also add: “It’s good that many Brazilians try to be happy, and to care about Samba, Carnival, Dance etc. They are not slaves of soccer/ sports. But some sports fans are so stupid. After Germany scored several goals Brazil’s samba groups stopped in apparent shock. It’s a natural thing. But some Brazilians said that they are so sad, and they want to kill themselves! Millionaires (footballers) play games, but idiots want to kill themselves for such games! Sport is a matter of joy, peace, health etc. But the bad guys, including English Barbarians, try to covert sports and all good things into Evil/ Political things”. They also add: “In these days, many make jokes about Brazil and world cup. Germany beats Brazil 7 – 1. It’s laughable. Germany was not good; but Brazil became Maldives/ Arabia, and made many laugh. But idiots cannot see the joke. Racist pigs put racist comments, but call such crap jokes -Nazi jokes or Holocaust jokes. They are not funny; they are shameful and stupid. Praising Nazis is funny?! Since when admiring savage killers has become joke?! Defending savage killers and Nazi Germany is not joke. Germany’s good guys, like other normal humans, have fun and make jokes. It’s good. But German faggots and German Nazis, like other racist pigs in Europe, dream of restoring Nazism and Fascism! They just remind you of the Nazi media and the UK media [...] Unfortunately, many don’t know that being happy is very different from being stupid and living like Sheep [...] Lets have fun, joy and good feelings. But Lets say No to living like Sheep/ Slaves”. In these days many things are laughable, and many things are sadly funny. So, lets take a look at some good, bad, real and unreal jokes of these days:

A new kind of Brazilian Praying: Dear Lord, you took my favorite football team, Brazil. You took my favorite footballer, Neymar. You took my favorite dancer, Michael Jackson … I just wanted to let you know that my favorite President is Barack Obama. Amen!

An Iranian and a (Jewish CIA) were sitting next to each other on an airplane. The (Jewish CI-A) leans over to the Iranian and asks if he wants to play a fun game. The Iranian just wants to sleep so he politely declines, turns away and tries to sleep. The spy persists and explains that it’s a real good game. He explains: ‘As many know, we, (Jewish Americans), are smarter than Iranians. So, I ask a question and if you don’t know the answer you pay me $5. Then you ask a question and if I don’t know the answer I’ll pay you $50 !’ Again the Iranian politely declines and tries to sleep. The spy, now somewhat agitated, says, “OK, if you don’t know the answer you pay me $5 and if I don’t know the answer I pay you $500! Now, that got the Iranian’s attention, so he agrees to the game. The spy asks the first question, “There is a magic formula for building a nuclear bomb. What’s this formula?” Iranian doesn’t say a word and just hands him $5. Now, its the Iranian’s turn. He asks: “there is a magic formula for building a new bomb that can find and destroy all bad guys. What’s this formula?” The (Jewish C-IA) looks at him with a puzzled look, takes out his laptop computer, looks through all his references and after about an hour wakes the Iranian and hands the Iranian $500. The Iranian takes the $500, and tries to return to sleep. The American, a little miffed, asks, “Well what’s the answer to the question?” Without a word, the Iranian reaches into his wallet, hands $5 to the Jewish American, turns away and returns to sleep.

What the media says about Brazil and the World Cup are sadly funny. For instance, they say: “the World Cup brings business for Brazils prostitutes .. the World Cup is about sex, soccer and samba .. Belo Horizontes prostitutes are prepared for the World Cup. Belo Horizonte’s Prostitutes’ Association (prepare) the city’s 80,000 s-ex workers .. the prostitutes, who are legal here, are given English classes by volunteers so they are better prepared for the World Cup .. the citys brothels, locally known as Zona, are open from 6am [!] to 11pm .. S-exy Brazil has one of the worst records in the world when it comes to poverty and child exploitation .. Se-x tourism is blatantly encouraged in Brazil. Hotels and taxis are part of a network that connects clients with young girls .. Some taxi drivers have a menu of girls .. many poor girls don’t go to school .. the World Cup offered many temporary jobs to poor girls and those who worked in prostitution”.

Q: What do Obama and Osama have in common? A: They both love Islamists and terrorists. Q: What’s the difference between Obama and Osama? A: Osama hates Mullahs, but Obama loves Mullahs.

Savage Jews kill Arab kids. Savage Arabs kill Jewish kids. Both groups kill innocent kids, because as some Iranians say: “Both Arabs and Jews are followers of the Jewish law of ‘Eye for an Eye’. Both of them are sworn enemies of Iran and Iranian values. They act like dogs and wolfs. In the 21st century, the locust-eaters openly say: Locusts eat our crops, so we eat locusts. Eye for an Eye!”.

The 97% of Iranians hate all Mullahs. As some Iranians say: ‘Now even Iran’s religious people are angry. As they say, Do you know who are ‘Kal Anaam Balhom Azal (like or worse than animals)? Mullahs and Islamists. As their own holy texts say: They have eyes, but cannot see; they have ears, but cannot hear; they are (slaves of Satan); they don’t think. They are like or worse than animals! Islamists and Basijis are the worst of the worst. As their own holy texts say: ‘those who can see big lies, crimes, problems, hypocrisy etc but they pretend that they are blind, deaf or mute; they don’t think, and they are the worst of the worst’ ! Fanatics and Islamists are the worst of the worst. But it’s ironic that even their own holly books say that they are like or worse than animals (Kal Anaam Balhom Azal)!”.

Two Mullah companies have a monopoly on cars in Iran. As some Iranians say: “they produce a fucking out-of-date car that its real price and its international price is 1000 dollars, but they sell it to Iranians for 7000 dollars. It’s their Islamic Justice or Islamic Economy. Mullahs lick the IMF’s ass, and say Iran’s prices should be equal to International prices. But their fucking Car Industry says international prices and standards are Kashk (bad). Mullahs are really Motherfucker. Iranians refer to the Mullah Car Industry as Halabi-Saz or Dar-e Pit Saz (Crap-maker), and say: Mullahs like Nemat-Zadeh and Ahmadi-Nejad are actually Goh-Zadeh and Goh-Nejad (Goh = shit). Their Car Industry is Crap Industry, and shows that their Islamic Justice or Islamic Economy is actually Islamic Hapooly (Thievery). Islamic Hapoolization is something like Islamic Americanization. They pay you in Rial, while all prices are in Dollar. They pay you in Rial, but they ask you to pay them in Dollar. Mullahs say people’s incomes should be 1/ 20 of international incomes, while prices should be equal to international prices. It’s what their Zionist IMF dictates to them”.

Tehran suffers from many new problems. As some Iranians say: “Qali-baf means Rug-maker, but he just makes rugs for his friends (Islamists) at the price of ruining Iran and making Iranians angrier. Now Qali-baf tries to sign a 20,000,000,000,000,000 rial (20,000 billions) contract with his friends at IRGC’s Khatam al-Anbia. The soup is too salty, and now even the Tehran’s city council protest against such corruption and such shameful Monopoly. Qalibaf and his Islamist friends try to ruin Iran and Tehran. The new Dust Storms in Tehran is a result of their evil acts .. Rouhanis do nothing about the new Dust Storms. But why?! .. In the 1980s, people said: ‘Saddam destroys Kuche 6-metri (a 6-meter alley) by Moshak 20-metri (a 20-meter rocket). But now Qalibaf and Islamists destroys Kuche 6-metri by Borje 200-metri (200-meter skyscrapers). They ruin all beautiful gardens, all beautiful alleys, all beautiful trees, and all beautiful places in Tehran, and replace them with ugly apartments/ skyscrapers, which are unsafe, non-standard, harmful and stupid”.

Mullahs violate the right of Iranian women to enter sports stadiums. As some Iranians say: “A group of Iranian women have asked the International Volleyball Federation to protect the right of Iranian women to attend volleyball matches. They’ve said: ‘We demand an end to gender discrimination in the sports stadiums and believe that the Iranian society is not an island isolated from the rest of the planet’. Apparently they don’t know that the West believes that Iran should be an island isolated from the rest of the planet. The West’s Evil Empire uses Mullahs to hurt Iran and Iranians. What Mullahs do is not consistent with the Iranian peoples culture and wishes. But what Mullahs do is not consistent with the West’s wishes and orders. Remember the IMF plans, the 2009 Coup etc. Mullahs just serve the West’s interests. Iranian women are suppressed, while Mullahs lick foreign women’s asses. Mullahs allow female fans to attend the games, only if female fans are not Iranians! It’s Racism, Anti-Iran Sadism, and what the West wants”.

Boko Haram is a tragicomedy. As some Iranians say: “Nigeria’s savage Islamists are called Boko Haram. But they are actually Bokon Haram (S-e-x Haram/ Forbid S-e-x). Africa’s Boko Haram is actually Bokon Haram. Mullahs are members of the same group. They say poor girls and poor people have no right. They say everything is Haram (forbidden) for average people; but Mullahs and savage Islamists are more equal than other people. For Mullahs and savage Islamists everything is Halal (free). For Mullahs, as say they, Bokon Halal (S-e-x is Free), Bokosh Halal (killing is free), Bokhor Halal (drinking is free), Bebar Halal (stealing is free) etc. They say Bokhor Bokhor Halal (Plundering is Free) and [..] Halal, but only for savage Islamists. Poor people and average people should enjoy Bokon Haram and ‘X Haram’, X = almost everything”.

The story of ‘Mullahs and Brazil’ is ridiculous. As some Iranians say: “Mullahs, Islamists and Basijis went to Brazil to join Brazil’s Boko Haram or Brazil’s Boko Halal?! Islamists and Basijis went to Brazil to attend Brazil’s Samba carnivals, or to attend Brazil’s Mourning festivals?! Many Brazilians took to the streets to protest against poor public services, corruption, rising prices, IMF plans, modern slavery etc. But Mullahs and Islamists love evil things like IMF plans, corruption, rising prices, poor public services etc. Brazilians say: FIFA go home; but Mullah lick FIFA’s ass, IMF’s ass etc .. Islamists say people should hate joy, fun, dance, music etc. Mullahs/ Islamists love mourning festivals, and the Anti-Iran Mullah TV is nothing but a mourning station and a censorship station. But Islamists go to Brazil to have fun and to attend non-Islamic events. Islamists are such hypocrites”.

Mullahs and Islamists are bad hypocrites. As some Iranians say: “Islamists enjoy Brazil, Samba, Boko Halal etc, but Iranian people should enjoy bans, Censorship, Parasite, Jewish laws, IMF plans etc .. the Arab/ Jewish values of Mullahs are Anti-Iranian values. Mullahs and their Jewish-Barbarian laws just serve the West’s interests .. Mullahs and Islamist agents prevented Iranian women from attending any of the World League volleyball matches between Iran, Brazil, Italy, and Poland. Mullahs harassed, physically assaulted, and arrested several Iranian women. Iranian women were prevented from entering the Azadi stadium in Tehran, but foreign women were allowed to attend and cheer their teams! Mullahs are such Anti-Iranian animals .. Team Iran went to Poland, but Mullahs confused, and badly censored the matches between Iran and Poland. Mullahs didn’t allow Iran’s people to see Polish girls, Polish fans, or Polish female cheerleaders! But God bless Poland’s girls and female fans. They confused Mullahs”.

In these days, the media talks about Rouhani’s right-hand man, Mohammad Nahavandian. As they say: ‘Nahavandian has a green card’, making him a US permanent resident ! (July 2014) But it’s not a new thing. Iranians already knew and said that Islamists and Basijis have US green cards. But as some Iranians say: “Just look what the Lefts, the Jewish CI-A, Noam Chomsky and other stupid pigs say about the Sham Fight between ‘Mullahs and Great Satan’! Mad Mullahs have US green cards. Mullahs like Nahavandian have the Great Satan’s green cards! Satan and Islamists are real brothers. Islamists and Basijis have Great Satan’s green cards, lick the IMF’s ass, and obey the Imperialist UK; but the Lefts and idiots still repeat their old crap”.

Rouhanis are terrible managers. As some Iranians say: “In Winter, Rouhanis talk about the lack of gas and fuel. And in Summer, Rouhanis talk about the lack of water and electricity. Mullah Management is great. In Winter, Iran suffers from the lack of gas and fuel. And in Summer, Iran suffers from the lack of water and electricity! It’s really a miracle. But it’s not the whole story. In this situation, Mullahs encourage Baby Boom, and say: the lack of water, food, fuel etc is not important. We should make more babies, and make Great Satan happy. As our English Arbab says, our Jewish God will take care of everything. We should only play the role of Iran’s Break Pedal’ … Rouhanis (Mullahs) are great managers. Their Islamic experts are retards like Tayebnia, who refer to Bank as Bang. Mullahs and the West call such uneducated retards Economists!.. Mullahs and their Islamic Economy are English artifacts. Mullahs are educated at the UK universities. When Islamists and Mullahs want to learn about Islamic Economy, they go to England, or attend the IMF classes in London. Mullahs go to England to learn about economy, politics, slavery, tyranny and everything. London is a Mecca for Mullahs and all Islamists”.

English Mullahs make Iranians laugh. As some Iranians say: “Mullah Shahab Moradi is Qalibaf’s aide. He is an English Mullah with Western gestures and pseudo-intellectual gestures. But He has recently said: Music is a bad/ evil thing; Iran doesn’t need Music or Music training. Mullah Shahab is a stupid faggot, whose brain/ mind is his ass, and that’s why he pretends that he is open-minded. English Mullahs like Mullah Shahab suffer from many shitty paradoxes – his name, Shahab, is just one of them. English Mullahs like Mullah Shahab are allowed to travel to European countries. The West loves them, and they love the Western Hell. But they ask Iranians to remain in this Islamic Heaven … this Islamic Heaven, ie this Mullah-made Hell in Iran, is good for faggots like Mullah Shahab. But they hate their own Islamic lifestyle. All English Mullahs are like Mullah Shahab .. They steal people’s money, and live like rich pigs, but they praise poverty! They are such hypocrites. They are worse than Taliban, but they pretend otherwise”.

In June 2014, Mullahs published a funny report. As some Iranians say: “this report was about the IMF Plans. Mullahs officially said: the 1st phase of the IMF Plans was a total failure! The Mullah Ministry of Economy officially said that the 1st phase of the IMF Plans just created more poverty and more economic problems! Of course all Iranians already knew and said that the IMF Plans are Western-made disasters/ plots .. But now Mullahs say the 1st phase of the IMF Plans was a total failure, while Mullahs still lick the IMF’s ass, and implement the 2nd phase of the IMF Plans! Mullahs are sick jokes. Mullahs lick the ass of their Zionist IMF, and refer to their Zionist IMF Plans as Resistance Economy (Eqtesad-e Moqarebati)”.

The USA badly supports Islamists. As some Iranians say: “Obama Bin Laden and US Congress badly support savage Islamists – from ISIS and Syrian terrorists to Muslim Brotherhood, MEK and Taliban. They say USA is anti-Terrorist or anti-Islamist, because USA openly supports Marxist-Islamist terrorists (MEK), Muslim Brotherhood, ISIS, Salafis, Taliban etc! .. The US-made Election Farce in Afghanistan is a bad joke. The USA openly supports Taliban and pro-Taliban Pashtoons, but rejects Dr. Abdollah, who is anti-Taliban and anti-Terrorist. Apparently, the main crime of Dr. Abdollah and Ahmad Shah-Masoud was and is that they are anti-Taliban, anti-Al-Qaedah, pro-Peace and pro-Reform. The USA only supports puppet dictators and IMF stooges .. In Iran, the US only supports Jewish Spies like AhmadiNejad (AN) and English stooges like Rouhani, who are stooges of the IMF and puppets of the West … the West loves Mullahs. From the 19th century to 1999 (18 Tir), the UK aided Mullahs, and in 2009, the UK and the US created the 2009 Coup .. In the past, Iranians were naive. But now many things have changed. Now when Mullahs (Gilani, AsgarOladi, Kani etc) die, Iranians celebrate, congratulate each other, or don’t give a shit about them”.

Mullahs serve the interests of Iran’s enemies. As some Iranians say: “the West says Iran is evil, because Mullahs are evil ! The West says: Iran should not X or Y, because Islamists are savages! But Islamists are their own puppets. Islamists are sworn enemies of Iran, Iranian people, and Iranian values. Islamists just serve the West’s interests. If Mullahs and their Arab/ Jewish laws don’t hurt Iranians and don’t create a bad image of Iran, would the West be able to crap about Iran? If Iran’s regime cares about Iranian Values and Iranian Culture, rejects Jewish-Barbarian values, and doesn’t aid the West in creating a bad and unreal image of Iran, then would the West be able to crap about Iran or Iran’s basic rights? Mullahs only serve the West’s interests. The West has no right to impose a limit on Iran’s centrifuge numbers. The West has no right to impose a limit on what Iran can have. Do we say how many X or Y the US and the UK should have?! [...] Mullahs are what the West wants. Mullahs are Anti-Iran, Anti-Iranian, Anti-Truth, and Anti-Progress. Mullahs and their Arab/ Jewish values just allow the West to justify itself, to hide the truths, and to deny Iran’s rights [...] Mullahs are brainless slaves. Now the West says how many centrifuges you should use, and tomorrow they would say how many oxygen molecules you should use for breathing, how many universities or sports teams you need, or how many tools you should have in your bedroom”.

The West refers to Exiled Whores as Exiled Journalists. But as some Iranians say: “whores like Behnoud, Masih AliNejad, Khatamists and those who still work for the BBC, the VOA etc are sick jokes. They still say How nice the West, the UK and the USA have become. They just remind you of old jokes like: One day, a Turk explained to his friends how nice (a Big City) has become. You really should go he said. As soon as you arrive at the airport, they will pick you up in a nice car, take you to a nice restaurant, give you foods, then they take you to a nice Hotel, and they even give you money! His friends being very enthusiastic about the issue ask: “Really? Have you been there lately?” Turk says: “No … but my wife has!”.

As some Americans say: “Thanks to Bush’s plans and Obama’s plans, Americans workers have been sleeping like babies. They wake up every couple of hours and cry”.

In June 2014, a Brazilian prostitute says: “sometimes I spend a month in the zona without going home. Some women spend six months at a time .. Foreign clients order underage prostitutes who are delivered directly by the hotels pimps .. some customers are rich, but lonely. There is a rich guy lives in a rich area here, he came to me one day and said hed give everything he has just to be happy .. Many of my clients say theyll pay more to spend an hour, but they just want to talk. Their wives dont care about them .. pretty girls, when they just start, make too much money .. they even get boyfriends inside of here .. But they often fall in love with the wrong guys; only some of these pretty girls marry rich guys .. only some prostitutes marry a rich guy. I know two or three. One married a judge/ clergymen! Now they live in luxury and she has everything … (At first) I worked on the street but it was dangerous. It was dangerous because of the girls, not the clients. Girls attacked me .. one of them had a knife and wanted to stab me”

One day a Jewish-Arab fanatic arrives to New York. He gets hungry and decides to go to get a snack. While he was walking down the street, he sees a restaurant that says “Hot Dogs”. He was thinking for a while and said, Dog? Is it Kosher/ Haram? But then he decides to try it. So he walks in the store and says to the waiter “hot dog please”. But when he received his hot dog, he took a look at it and said, “oh shit, divine intervention; bad luck; look which part of dog’s body is remained for me”.

A twin-engine puddle jumper was flying somewhere above the ocean with 5 people on board – the pilot, Obama, Dalai Lama, a whore and an Iranian. Suddenly something exploded and the pilot said: “Gentlemen, I have bad news, and good news”. He added: “We’re about to crash, but the good news is that we can easily parachute to safety .. but the bad news is that there are only 4 parachutes”. With that, the pilot grabbed a parachute, and jumped from the plane. Obama was right behind him. ‘Gentlemen,’ he said, ‘I am the leader of the world’s smartest nation. I am the world’s smartest man, and, well, the world needs smart men. So, uh, the world’s smartest man should have a parachute”. So saying, he grabbed a parachute and followed the pilot out the door. The whore was on his feet in a flash. “Gentlemen,” he said, “I am one of the world’s greatest whores. The world needs whores. So, I should have a parachute”. With those words, he grabbed a parachute and hurtled through the door into the night. Dalai Lama and the Iranian looked at one another calmly for a moment. Finally, the Iranian picked up a parachute and held it out to Dalai Lama who said, ‘My son, I have lived a satisfying life. You have your life ahead of you; you take the parachute, and I will go down with the plane’. But the Iranian said, “Don’t worry man. The world’s smartest man just jumped out wearing my backpack!”.