Robert Byrd Dies, Named KKK Grand Dragon of Hell

<a onblur=”try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}” href=”http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_bj0fdAQOI98/TCiga7hbufI/AAAAAAAAB8g/uBN9i93H51Q/s1600/byrdkkk.jpg”><img style=”display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 250px; height: 382px;” src=”http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_bj0fdAQOI98/TCiga7hbufI/AAAAAAAAB8g/uBN9i93H51Q/s400/byrdkkk.jpg” alt=”" id=”BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5487812530465913330″ border=”0″ /></a>Senator Robert C. Byrd (D-WV) <a href=”http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100628/ap_on_go_co/us_obit_byrd”>died early this morning</a> at Inova Hospital in Fairfax, Va. Upon arriving in Hell, he was immediately appointed <a href=”http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/06/18/AR2005061801105.html”>KKK Grand Dragon</a>.<br /><br />Byrd was greeted at the gates of Hell by long-time friend Ted Kennedy, who made an <a href=”http://feedyouradhd.blogspot.com/2009/09/ted-kennedy-announces-candidacy-for.html”>unsuccessful bid for president of Hell</a> last year shortly after his own arrival.<br /><br />“Having … ah … Senata Byrd at my side again can only improve my … ah … chances of … ah … taking this place ova when elections come around again next yeya,” Kennedy said.<br /><br />Byrd, for his part, cried when he saw Kennedy again. “<a href=”http://www.politico.com/blogs/thecrypt/0508/Byrd_offers_weeping_tribute_to_Kennedy.html”>Ted, Ted, my dear friend, I love you, and I missed you</a>,” he said.<br /><br />Satan, Kennedy’s rival for control of Hell, welcomed Byrd to his kingdom of filth.<br /><br />“It is with great honor that I bestow the title of KKK Grand Dragon on Senator Byrd,” Satan said. “Only a true Democrat – and we’re all Democrats down here in Hell – could have uttered the great statements he has made over the years.”<br /><br />Satan spent the next 40 hours regaling the gathering crowd of demons, radical Islamic suicide bombers, and former elected Democrats, recounting many of Byrd’s earthly statements. Here are the highlights:<br /><ul><li> “They call me ‘The Pork King,’ they don’t know how much I enjoy it.”</li><li>“There are white niggers. I’ve seen a lot of white niggers in my time. I’m going to use that word…”</li><li>“The Klan is needed today as never before and I am anxious to see its rebirth here in West Virginia.”</li><li>“It is necessary that the order be promoted immediately and in every state in the Union…”</li><li>“Will you please inform me as to the possibilities of rebuilding the Klan realm of W. Va.”</li><li>“I will never submit to fight beneath that banner with a Negro by my side…”</li><li>“Rather I should die a thousand times, and see Old Glory trampled in the dirt never to rise again … than to see this beloved land of ours become degraded by race mongrel … a throwback to the blackest specimen from the wilds.”</li></ul><span style=”font-size:85%;”><span style=”font-style: italic;”>*Byrd quotes courtesy of </span><a style=”font-style: italic;” href=”http://twitter.com/DearCitizen”>@DearCitizen</a><br /><br /><span style=”font-size:100%;”>Cross-posted at <a href=”http://patdollard.com/2010/06/guest-post-by-snarky-basterd-robert-byrd-dies-named-kkk-grand-dragon-of-hell/”>PatDollard.com</a></span><br /></span><div class=”blogger-post-footer”><img width=’1′ height=’1′ src=’https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4006054955498185308-879416077784404434?l=feedyouradhd.blogspot.com’ alt=” /></div>

Read the original story at Feed Your ADHD