Twas the night before Christmas, when all through Wasilla

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through Wasilla
Not a creature stirred, not even Fedzilla
The stockings were hung by the bear rug with care,
In hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While dreams of exceptionalism danced in their heads.
And mamma at her laptop, and Todd in his cap,
Reading some Huffpo before yelling out “crap!”

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
She sprang from her seat to see what was the matter.
Away to the window she flew like she’d done,
Tore open the shutters and loaded the gun.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to their wondering eyes should appear,
But a gaggle of press, “are you running next year?”

There was McGinness, Sullivan, Katie and more
Markos, Arianna and the usual draw
More rapid than vultures and cursers they came,
And Todd whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

“Now Mudflats! now, Homer! now, Diva and Griffin!
On, Norah! On, Ed Schulz! on Maureen and Mika!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!”

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the house-top more troopers they flew,
Santa’s sleigh full of supporters, and Barbarians too.

And then, in a twinkling, they heard on the roof
Ted Nugent set his shotgun as he appeared with a poof.
It said “Fox” on the sled, just as we turned around
Down the chimney Sean Hannity came with a bound.

He had Beck and Levin, and Laura and Michelle,
“It’s time to send these animals straight back to hell.”
The tweeters for Palin had come with their twibe,
Tammy and Jedediah would all soon arrive.

Her eyes-how they twinkled! Todd’s smile how merry!
This year was their year for liberals to bury!
The poor talk show hosts, poor Rachel and Keith
Were no match for ratings compared to Chuck Heath.

The Establishment shuttered seeing this scene.
They could do nothing to get Sarah off the TV screen.
Bristol was dancing and Sarah was camping
Oh, my, we all asked why all the foot stamping?

We were laughing and glad, because we have her back.
Santa knew all was good as he hoisted his sack.
A wink of her eye and a nod of his head,
Soon gave us to know we had nothing to dread.

She spoke not a word, but went straight to her chair,
To Facebook the Democrats to let them know she’s still there.
And laying her thumb on the tip of her nose,
She wiggled her fingers and cheered “our army grows!”

She sprang to her keyboard, the liberals were bitter,
When she posted what Santa said that night on Twitter.
She tweeted his shout out, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
“Happy Christmas Palinistas, to all a good-night!”

www.carols.org.uk/twas_the_night_before_christmas.htm

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