Hell, Michigan (IMpossible News) Al Gore Repents, Obama Ends Gulf Oil Moratorium, Unemployment Numbers Plummet.

An amazing twist of events has the American economy bouncing back. Al Gore had to break the bad news to a disheartened crowd of global warming enthusiasts in Hell, Michigan. This year isn’t the only year that Hell has been frozen over, but after several mild winters the citizens of this town were hoping that Al Gore’s global warming science was true. They were looking forward to all the consequences Al was promising in the years to come. When Al was asked (at a public forum) “When can we expect to see the rising temperatures that Global Warming science has promised us?” Al simply had to lower his head and admit, “I was all wrong.” And then he added, “I must confess that I was totally wrong, and ask the forgiveness of the American People.” He then handed back his Friends of Global Warming t-shirt to the club president, a life-long resident of Hell.

Immediately following this news, Barrack Obama appointed Sarah Palin as the new Energy Czar and called for an end to the oil drilling moratorium in the Gulf of Mexico. He then removed the ban on oil drilling in Alaska as well. Thousands of workers have been called back and millions of new jobs are being generated as a daily recovery of the American economy results. The price of gasoline at the pump is expected to go down as low as $1.25 a gallon. This will in turn lower the cost of shipping goods to market, lowering the final prices charged by retailers and saving the American public substantial sums in their yearly budget.

Al Gore will now be hosting a new reality show called, “Find Me a New Global Crisis to Exploit.” See your local TV program guides for more information.

(This fictional and uncanny report is for entertainment purposes only)

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