Morsi Declares Himself a Dictator

The latest episode of reality TV from Cairo, that happening hotbed of democracy, shows demonstrators in Tahrir Square protesting their new president’s “temporary” declaration of dictatorial powers. It seems that Mohamed Morsi wants to spare his subjects the tedium of waiting for judicial review of his edicts. This way, it’s one and done.

In an interview with Time, Morsi affirmed his support for freedom of religion and freedom of speech. Egyptians are still learning to be free but with his steady guidance it can be done. Coptic Christians are no doubt breathing a huge sigh of relief that they will be free to worship in the new Egypt. However, Morsi’s assurance may not send the market for crosses and crucifixes through the roof just yet. Some Copts may feel that this promise from the head of the Muslim Brotherhood and a dollar-fifty will just about buy them a cup of coffee at Pyramidbucks.

The new Coptic Pope, who represents the 10% of Egyptians who are Christians, was selected on November 4th by a blindfolded child picking a name out of a bowl. There may be something for us to learn here. If we picked our President this way, it would certainly save millions currently reserved for attack ads and would have the added benefit of propelling the child to instant stardom. He or she would be set for life and could expect a future appearance on “Dancing with the Stars,” “Ellen” and “Rachael Ray”as the juvenile selector extraordinaire for that particular Presidential year.

Morsi’s dictator-lite style may evolve into something President Obama could emulate. Not being a stranger to Executive Orders, Obama could well decide that it’s cool to go a little Morsi with the Constitution and just suspend that “piece of paper” as George Bush called it. Nothing heavy, the President would assure us, just a temporary order granting himself all power and removing any of his actions from judicial review.

The difference between us and Egypt? There would not be thousands demonstrating on the National Mall. Riot police armed with pepper spray and rubber bullets could knock off early. Workers in Federal buildings around the country might see a few sign-holders when they look out the window. Pathetic banners may wail: “This here is supposed to be of the people by the people, ain’t it?” and “Where’s my Obamaphone?”

At least 47% of Americans would think Obama’s power grab a fine idea because Samantha Guthrie looked perky when she announced the change on “Today.” And Chris Matthews was visibly tingling again. Viewers would call in to demand free cable as Obama surely wants it for them.

If you think I’m being too pessimistic about the dictator-lite meme making it to our shores, take a look at UN plans for Internet control and gun control. Obama wouldn’t actually have to enact that stuff through an Executive Order since he’d be a friendly dictator who believes in freedom of speech and the Second Amendment. He would just declare that we “support” the UN’s action and will enforce it domestically. What can he do when the whole world is telling us we have to be more flexible? He’s an international guy, having lived in Indonesia and studied at a madrassa as a boy. Just let Barack take care of it, folks, nothing to see here.

Regarding the newly free Egyptians under his care, Morsi has said “I see things more than they do.” Not a problem for President Obama to see more than Americans either, since he has drones at his disposal. Even so, we wouldn’t have to worry that he’ll declare himself “President for life” like the conspiracy nutballs warn us about on various websites, forever blaring “Martial law around the corner!” and “Repent, the end is near!” President Obama could just keep signing successive temporary orders obstructing judicial review in keeping with his more nuanced and fluid approach to democracy. Choosing a small child to have the honor of handing him the pen each time would be a nice touch.

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• Obama Silent As Egypt’s President Becomes Dictator, Moves Toward Shariah Law
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• Egypt Erupts as Morsi Seizes Powers