Dirty Barry

Jokingly quoting Inspector Callahan, no matter if in Japan or in Europe will score you some points; the locals will giggle, answer with yet another quote or simply exclaim “Dirty Harry!”

Despite controversy, the movie managed to skip political correctness and became an international hit.

What makes “Dirty Harry” timelessly popular? The antihero who is allergic to red tape, and voices our opinion on “personnel”? Is it the fact that so many people desperately seek justice, while their efforts are being bulldozed by ruthless pencil-pushers, and depraved political charlatans?

Back in the 70ties the moviegoers got the opportunity to be introduced to Harold Francis Callahan and his sense of ethics, whether the critics liked it or not.

These days, we wouldn’t be able to catch a glimpse of Harry’s unconventional methods.

The majority, or rather those whose opinions are made audible by the main-stream media would fiercely attack both the movie and the freedom of thought.

First of all, the scenario would be re-written to fit into category of soap opera and pseudo-reality show. In order to prove their politically correct intent, and simply to bootlick, the producers might call the new hero “Dirty Barry”. Then, just like in case of 007, we would be put through an excruciating debate on the question of race, religion and sexual orientation of the main character.

Forget the signature Smith &Wesson Model 29.44 Magnum, Dirty Barry would be armed with a fairy’s wand or a magic pen. If Callahan used to wear cheap pants, the new main character would sport designer mom jeans. Some cross-dressing would be considered cool too. Not sure if the film would be made in California, you know – all these homeless Veterans could spoil the lovely picture.

Let’s cut to the chase: episode 4 series 1.Dirty Barry saves an illegal immigrant from drowning, and he has his floating buttock implants to thank for! Episode 27, Series 4: The hero stands up for rights of weed smoking teens who are harassed by some nasty policemen. Episode 678, series 247: Dirty Barry’s spending spree. Episode 1050, Series 400: He makes friends with enemies, then with the enemies of the enemies. Purdy!

Do you still crave a big bucket of popcorn, or a leak resistant polyethylene lined sickness bag will do?

Betcha folks, we would be told that the majority prefers Dirty Barry to our ol’Callahan.

Even if the re-make was to be bought (with our money) and advertised by some fans abroad, who in his right mind would want to watch the pathetic show?

We would be force-fed with the new series, episodes and sequels, until the overdose became official, international and final. And then?

Forget “When Harry met Sally”; think When Dirty Harry Meets Dirty Barry…

First of all, a reminder: “A man’s got to know his limitations”.

Whenever Dirty Barry is finally off-screen and makes our day, there’ll be nothing left to say, but: …you’ve gotta ask yourself one question: “Do I feel lucky?” Well, do ya?

Joanna Rosamond