You have run a near-flawless campaign.
At every turn, your originality and unpredictability have outsmarted the most highly touted minds in the political world today. Every time they count you out, you gain 10 more points in the polls. It is, as you yourself might say, a-MAAAAAAAAZ-ing.
You have done all of this using a refreshingly simple, straight-forward strategy. You know what you want to say, you say it plainly and forcefully and then you stick with it.
Such commitment, of course, is heresy in this sleazy world of liars where nobody says anything and if they ever slip up and accidentally speak forthrightly, the next step is to retract the statement. Then they check into rehab and blame it on booze or the pills.
Even in the cases where you have said things inartfully or things you simply should not have said, you had the decency to stick with them and move on without apology. In this era of constant-apology porn, that is refreshing.
Your sense of where voters stand on the most important issues of the day is without peer.
Your quick analysis of illegal immigration is like a life raft for a country quickly losing all last hopes.
One of my favorite political instincts of yours is your primal ability to sense weakness in your enemy and then strike fast with absolute precision and savage ferocity.
If Americans watch NASCAR for the fiery crashes, we now watch political debates for the Donald Trump take-downs of politicians. We love them because they articulate the deep-felt thoughts and frustrations of millions.
Which brings me to the one thing you must change about your campaign:
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