Saying “God Bless You” Is an Anti-Islamomisic Microaggression

Now that we know microaggressions can be lethal, we must make every effort not to accidently commit them. For example, if someone sneezes, do not say “God bless you.” This is a thought crime that victimizes the politically sacred:

Librarians at Simmons College are warning Christian students that “Merry Christmas,” “Happy Easter,” and “God bless you” are microaggressions against Muslim people.

The librarians caution against such expressions in a new guide on “Anti-Islamomisia,” which argues that “people who follow Christianity have institutionalized power” and therefore may inadvertently commit microaggressions against Muslims and other religious minorities.

You can tell that Christians have institutionalized power because of the intolerance for sin and reverence for Christ that characterize our age. Just kidding.

“Islamomisic Microaggressions are commonplace verbal or behavioral indignities, whether intentional or unintentional…[that] invoke oppressive systems of religious/Christian hierarchy,” the librarians assert.

So if someone sneezes, shout “Down with Jesus!” instead. That way, you can avoid controversy.

On tips from Chronos Z. Wonderpig, KirklesWorth, and The Lieberal Media.