San Francisco Board of Supervisors Revises Newspeak Dictionary

At least in 1984, party apparatchiks streamlined the language. Recent revisions to the Newspeak Dictionary by the San Francisco Board of Supervisors are anything but streamlined. But then, Shakespeare did say that “brevity is the soul of wit” — and as we know, moonbattery is the soul of witlessness.

From the San Francisco Comical describes the new “person first” language guidelines adopted by the board:

Going forward, what was once called a convicted felon or an offender released from jail will be a “formerly incarcerated person,” or a “justice-involved” person or simply a “returning resident.”

A parolee or someone on criminal probation will be referred to as a “person under supervision.”

A juvenile “delinquent” will become a “young person with justice system involvement,” or a “young person impacted by the juvenile justice system.”

And drug addicts or substance abusers will become “a person with a history of substance use.”

The idea is to destigmatize criminals, so that they will not be “forever labeled.”

According to the board’s language resolution, words that acknowledge the criminality of criminals “only serve to obstruct and separate people from society and make the institutionalization of racism and supremacy appear normal.”

At the current rate of deterioration into sheer lunacy, it won’t be long before “felon” goes from “returning resident” to “angelic victim of racist injustice.”

In their resolution, the Supervisors go on to bark that

“Inaccurate information, unfounded assumptions, generalizations and other negative predispositions associated with justice-involved individuals create societal stigmas, attitudinal barriers and continued negative stereotypes.”

Social engineers must be delighted that medical technology may provide a cure for people who have negative stereotypes of criminals.

What language to use for the victims of criminals? Applying the new terminology, here’s how you could refer to someone whose car was stolen by a paroled junky:

“A person who has come in contact with a returning resident who was involved with the justice system and who is currently under supervision with a history of substance use.”

On tip from Chuck A, Jack Bauer, KirklesWorth.

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