Charmin Gets Squeezed by Ecomoonbats

Moonbattery is a capricious and perfidious god. Not even Nike and Dick’s have gone to greater lengths than Procter & Gamble to pay it obeisance, even at the cost of disgusting or enraging its own customers. P&G force-feeds us neurotic white guilt. It accuses men of toxic masculinity. It celebrates morbid obesity so as to combat lookism. It makes us throw up into our throats with transsexual propaganda. It has taken a financial hit for wallowing in moonbattery. The thanks it gets: ecomoonbats denounce its Charmin toilet paper as hurtful to the sacred boreal forests.

“It’s just unacceptable that a company like P&G is making toilet paper, a product that is used for seconds and flushed, from virgin pulp,” said Shelley Vinyard, boreal corporate campaign manager for the Natural Resources Defense Council and one of several dozen protesters at P&G’s annual shareholders meeting in Cincinnati, Ohio, on Tuesday.

Moonbats demand that Charmin be made of more politically correct recycled wood pulp.

P&G offers a simple reason for not using recycled wood pulp: It doesn’t make for good toilet paper.

P&G points out that acquiring paper from well-managed forests makes more sense than using recycled garbage. However, recycling is inherently good in the moonbat religion, just as cutting down trees, even if you planted the trees specifically so that you could cut them down, is inherently bad.

Sooner or later, every corporation will learn that rhetorically feeding the crocodile of moonbattery does not guarantee that it will eat you last.

On tips from Stormfax and R F.

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