Myles Garrett of Cleveland Browns Joins Hate Hoax List

Myles Garrett, the savage who ripped off Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Mason Rudolph’s helmet and beat him on the head with it, has attempted to escape the consequences for his behavior with an accusation so predictable and yet so preposterous that it lands him immediately on the Hate Hoax List with other faux victims of racism. Garrett says the felonious assault for which he should be not only suspended but imprisoned was justified because Rudolph called him a racial slur.

Surely impalement on the stake would be no worse than Rudolph deserves, according to the prevailing mentality, if he really had uttered the forbidden N-word. The likelihood of him doing so during an NFL game, given that the overwhelming majority of players are black, approaches zero.

Even the NFL, infamous for pandering obsequiously to allegedly oppressed crybullies of color, appears to agree:

Garrett’s indefinite suspension was upheld, the league announced on Thursday. And NFL spokesman Brian McCarthy said later on Thursday that the league “found no such evidence” that Rudolph hurled a racial slur at Garrett.

The allegation comes as a big surprise to Garrett’s Cleveland Browns teammates. Apparently, it took him several days to think of it. Defensive ends are fast and strong, but not necessarily very intelligent.

Despite enjoying the privilege of making millions of dollars to play a game a few months of the year, Myles Garrett is not the first NFL player to join the Hate Hoax List by faking racist oppression. Michael Bennett welcomes him aboard.

On tips from Heckrules and Troy H.

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