Helping people loot safely and efficiently

Another from satire site The Babylon Bee:

BEAVERTON, OR—Nike has released a commemorative shoe to honor those looting and burning down buildings across the country.

The Nike Loot Force One comes packed with features the company says will help people loot safely and efficiently. From cushioned soles to make sure you make it through shattered windows without getting your feet cut to a detachable swoosh that can be thrown at business owners or police officers like a Batarang, the shoe is the ideal footwear for those looking to incite violent riots and also coincidentally get some free stuff.

“We stand in solidarity with those looting stores and getting free stuff to show how much they care about justice,” said a Nike representative. “To that end, we are releasing this $250 pair of shoes some Chinese lady made for 30 cents.”

Nike has asked looters, though, to respect Nike stores while wearing the Loot Force Ones. “Please don’t steal our shoes while you loot — let’s just say you should ‘target’ other major corporations.”