You’ll Never Take Our Potholes!

It’s about control, it’s always been about control.

Business owners, after months of seeking information from the Governor about specific metrics for reopening their businesses and the economy, finally get this:

 Gov. Whitmer unveils plan to tie Michigan vaccination rates to easing COVID-19 rules

Whitmer outlined four steps to gradually ease restrictions:

• Two weeks after 4.5 million Michiganders have received their first vaccine dose (55% of the eligible population), the state will lift requirements that employers mandate employees work remotely where feasible. 
• Two weeks after 4.9 million Michiganders have received their first vaccine dose (60% of the eligible population), the state will increase indoor capacity for sporting events, conference centers, banquet halls and other similar facilities to 25%. The state will also increase capacity limits at gyms to 50%, and lift curfews on restaurants and bars. 
• Two weeks after 5.3 million Michiganders have received their first vaccine dose (65% of the eligible population), the state will lift all indoor capacity restrictions and relax limits on social gatherings. 
• Two weeks after 5.7 million Michiganders have received their first vaccine dose (70% of the eligible population), the state will rescind the health department’s face mask and gathering order and stop issuing similar rules “unless unanticipated circumstances arise.” 

The entire plan revolves around people getting the first of two vaccination doses; two of three available vaccines require two injections. However, the total number of initial doses administered dropped more than 75% from April 14 to Monday. 

So while the Gov was begging Joey B’s administration 2 weeks ago to allocate more vaccine to Michigan due to an uptick in cases, the state left 360,000 doses of its federal allotment go unordered, possibly because  the state’s director of health and human services, Elizabeth Hertel, was on vacation in Florida (as was Governor Gretchen herself).

“One thing Trish forgot to do before she went on spring break was to order those 360,000 vaccine doses for Michigan, leaving the governor to grovel,” said Ted Goodman, communications director of the Michigan Republican Party. “It’s continued hypocrisy within her own circle, with family members and staff openly flaunting the policies that Whitmer has imposed on the rest of Michiganders.”

But don’t worry, everything is now under control because this week we’ve got more shots than we know what to do with and they’re begging people to get vaccinated, you don’t even need an appointment, just show up!

So you see, this is not a plan to re-open, it’s a plan to stay closed as the state will never hit 70%. But we will maintain control of your peanut butter.

By the way, in case anyone is wondering about those damn roads that Governor Whitmer promised to fix:

No, that she hasn’t been able to get control of yet.

You can close our businesses! You can close our beaches! You can close our swimming pools! But you can NEVER close our damn potholes!