Imaginary Noose Menaces Black Professors

Just as Bubba Wallace was beginning to recover from the trauma of seeing a noose pretending to be a garage door pull, another racist noose has been discovered. This time the victims are two black professors at Penn State University. They are too intelligent and highly educated to be fooled by a noose posing as a random piece of rope that had been thrown into a tree.

The College Fix reports:

As reported by the PSU student newspaper Daily Collegian, the professors said the incident was “deeply distressing to them and their family.”

As Persons of Oppressedness, they are the center of the universe, so naturally they assumed that the noose had been “deliberately placed [on the tree] to harass them.”

Penn State President Eric Barron was quick to “express concern and offer support.”

Naturally, the police were called in to investigate.

Alas, according to the professors’ neighbor who was interviewed by police, the “noose” actually was part of a swing set. The neighbors’ kid told police he merely had thrown the rope “into the woods.”

Showcasing the systemic racism that characterizes local law enforcement, Patton, Pennsylvania police chief Tyler Jolley found that there was no malice and no crime had occurred. A kid threw a rope and it happened to land on a tree branch, end of story.

Jolley obviously requires indoctrination in critical race theory. It doesn’t matter that there was no racist intent. The black professors felt themselves to be oppressed by the rope; therefore, the rope is racist. The tree is racist too, and should be chopped down at once in the name of racial justice.

On a tip from R F.

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