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Cicadas: Don Your Gay Apparel And Let’s Get It On

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WASHINGTON (AP) — The cicadas were flying. The reporters hoping to join the president in Europe were not.

Reporters traveling to the United Kingdom for President Joe Biden’s first overseas trip were delayed seven hours after their chartered plane was overrun by cicadas.

The press plane is arranged with the assistance of the White House and carries journalists at their expense. There was not expected to be any impact on news coverage of Biden’s visit.

Of course “there was not expected to be any impact on news coverage of Biden’s visit,” they could write their fawning stories from home, before they left. And probably have.

Meanwhile inquiring minds want to know how many of the other ten Biblical plagues will be visited upon the country before our people are set free.

Good news for LGBT and non-gender conforming cicadas though: since their last appearance in 2004 they have been not only accepted but warmly embraced by the culture.

Wear your gayness, bi-trans-pan sexuality with pride weedhopper! This is your time.

Of course the cicadas should also be advised that there’s also a few nasty diseases going around that demand social distancing that could inhibit their 17 year orgy: The Chinese Murder Virus for one, which I guess we’ll find out soon enough whether it effects cicadas  but(t) of more immediate concern to the critters is something called Massospora, which causes their butts to fall off. That one sounds like a real problem to me. Maybe we can get some Chinese labs to work on Massospora gain of function research and make its wings to fall off as well. That way the Press plane need never be inconvenienced again.

Oh, and I guess I should let the emerging 17-year cicadas know this: the bad guys are now exclusively white so you might want to keep that in mind as you don your gayest party garb to get it on with your fellow

Important color update: bad guys now wear white hats – and chocolate

Heading out now to see Raj and hopefully get him home this afternoon. Thanks again to everyone for your thoughts, prayers and concerns – all greatly appreciated and helpful for getting through a long, long day.


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