Bummer: Hotcoldwetdry Could Maybe Possibly Be Supercharging Poison Ivy

How dare you! This is all your fault

Climate change is making poison ivy stronger and itchier
Carbon dioxide and warmer soils could be supercharging everyone’s least favorite plant.

It either is or isn’t. Could implies that they don’t know, but, then, when has the Cult of Climastrology ever needed scientific facts and proof?

Poison ivy is a fixture of the landscape in eastern North America and parts of Asia. The noxious, rash-causing weed grows in rocky outcroppings, open fields, and at the edge of forests — it generally loves to take over disturbed areas. It can grow in partial shade and doesn’t give a damn about soil moisture as long as it’s not growing in a desert. The ivy is often identified in its plant form on the ground, but it can grow into a thick and hairy vine that curls around big trees and chokes out other native flora. No one knows why the ubiquitous plant causes an allergic reaction in human beings and some apes. It doesn’t affect any other animals that way, and researchers suspect that its allergenic defense mechanism may have evolved by accident.

So they don’t even know why? Huh.

If you live in areas where there is a lot of poison ivy, you may have noticed that the plant appears to be thriving lately. The leaves are looking leafier, the vines more prolific. Your poison ivy rash may even feel more itchy. It’s not your imagination. Research shows that the main culprit behind climate change — increased concentrations of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere — is supercharging poison ivy.

But

The effect has been known since 2006, when Duke University researchers published a six-year study that showed poison ivy grew double its normal size when it was exposed to higher levels of carbon dioxide — levels on a par with the atmospheric carbon scientists anticipate seeing around 2050. The leaves on some individual plants grew by as much as 60 percent. Researchers also found that CO2 makes urushiol, the oil in poison ivy that causes the allergic reaction in humans, stronger. Plants rely on CO2 to make the sugars they need to grow, and increased concentrations of it were helping everyone’s least favorite plant thrive. The researchers surmised that increased levels of CO2 in coming decades would lead to bigger, faster growing, and itchier poison ivy plants.

So, it’s not actually happening, they just fed it more CO2 based on their crystal ball reading of what might happen in 2050

Mohan’s research at the Harvard Forest indicates that poison ivy is poised to do well in a warming world. “So far, poison ivy benefits from CO2, and it benefits from warmer conditions, and gosh only knows what happens when we do them both,” she said. “Which is of course what the planet is doing.”

So not happening now? Huh.

The takeaway is bleak: Climate change is supercharging poison ivy, and the plant likes to cohabitate with humans. Which means an extra dose of caution is in order when you’re out in nature. Even if you think you’re not allergic to poison ivy, Mohan says it’s best to keep an eye out for its distinctive clusters of three leaflets and steer clear just in case. The Forest Service found that between 70 and 85 percent of the population is sensitive to urushiol, and people are likely to become more allergic to it every time they are exposed. Tuck your pants in and watch where you walk, Mohan said. “When you’re dealing with nature, be smart,” she said. “Because nature is always going to win.”

And Doom is coming, y’all! This is what they call science.