First Super Bowl By Millennials For Millennials

Forget the game and the all-Black (Eminem identifies as Black) halftime ‘show,’ I could  write a book about the Super Bowl commercials. But what’s the point? They were certainly not targeting me. The Rams and the Bengals were both coached by Millennials who have taken over from the Old Guard. The game’s ad-spots were likewise created by Millennials for Millennials.

Their market research now includes new age data mining that reveals that old Boomers like me are not likely to invest in cryto-currencies – even though I did rather like Crypto platform eToro’s CGI ad.

A cryto-investor murmuration over a Post-Post Modern City

Nor are we likely to go to theatres to see the 110th installment in movie franchises like Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness. And I’m far less likely to purchase a “carb-free” beer than, oh say, a skinny post-grad coed. Nor do I plan to purchase a CueHealth device, cleverly called “Cue,” that conducts Covid tests from the comfort of your own home. It will be Millennials and Gen-Zeers who have one of these babies sitting next to their Alexa.

And Google’s Pixel 6 camera with Real Tone? This product was aimed at an even narrower demographic: brown and black Millennials/GenZees. “Real Tone” being an algorithm that “highlights the nuances of diverse (read: black and brown) skin tones” – it’s clearly not marketing to honkies. Note they assume their target audience is too dim to suss out Google’s message on their own so they spell it out: “The ad seeks to draw attention to the lack of image equity in camera technologies that have not always accurately worked on all skin tones.”

The “your camera is racist” pitch is not directed at old white guys

And speaking of the minority demographic: There was one (and only one) commercial that did not have a minority in it – Weather-Tec. How dare they! – and then place an American flag in the last few frames. Deeply regrettable. And a very fine product line, including undersink mats to save your cabinet from leaks.

Verizon hired lame Jim Carry to reprise his lame Cable Guy persona. I’m not sure what the point was as I was too distracted by how strangely the man’s rubber face has aged: hard edged, deeply grooved and far creepier than funny.

I did love that E-trade reprised their talking babies – of course one of them was black.

And although I missed it, probably during a real beer run, Budweiser did bring back the Clydesdale. Maybe it’s just me but I found this particular Millennial version of sentiment more disturbing than uplifting. But like I said, it’s probably just me, on account of my being an irrelevant, out of touch old Boomer.

What it lacked in creativity it made up for in virtue signaling, given that the Vet administering to the fallen stead was a black female.

There were a zillion more ads to choose from, half of which were lame, woke and pandering and the other half which were just lame. But since it’s both Mutt-day and Valentine’s Day I would suggest you not waste your time checking them out.

Happy St. Valentine’s Day!