Flashback: Holy Cow! How Will You Celebrate Father’s Day?

Still haven’t decided what to serve Pop for your Father’s Day cookout? Why not try your hand at a homemade version of Lady M’s new favorite burger: The Holy Cow!

The “Holy Cow” includes an insouciant “wink” at the NSA’s “ICU”  program

Brought to my attention by Gerard at American Digest and ‘splained by Sploid, the “Holy Cow” was engineered by Red’s True Barbecue and is,“basically like sandwiching an entire cow” between the bun. Here’s what you’ll need.

• Carpaccio beef and olive (that’s the eyeball “winking” at you)
• 21-hour Texas-smoked brisket
• Juicy Lucy (melted cheese hidden inside a 100% steak burger)
• A Parmesan and Jacob’s cracker-crusted pattie made of pulled oxtail and pulled ox cheek with diced slow-smoked ox heart and ox liver
• Jalapeño and dill pickle relish
• Thickly sliced mustard-pickled tongue
• Unholy sticky beef jus
• Pulled 12hr smoked beef rib
• Blackened Wagyu rib eye steak
• Beef bacon
• Red’s Dirty sauce
• Chargrilled red onion ring

What red blooded American dad wouldn’t love to scarf down this bovine collection? Ok, it’s got that creepy eyeball thingy on top, butt that will be dispatched with extreme prejudice with the first chomp.

I C U! And raise my flag in salute.

However, if you’re not in the mood for a cookout, can’t find good quality mustard-pickled tongue or pulled ox cheek, or if globull warming has kiboshed your cookout plans with colder and/or wetter than normal weather, you could drop in for the Father’s Day special being offered at Big Red’s. And if whole cow burgers aren’t your thing you could get one of their other great all-American BBQ dinners available at all 3 of their big locations:

• Leeds, Cloth Hall Street (nr Corn Exchange)
• Manchester, 22 Lloyd Street, Albert Square
• Headingley, 6a Otley Road

Well yes, they are in England, butt that shouldn’t surprise anyone; in the Age of Obama just about everyone seems to be more American than America. Butt I must say, the Brits seem to have captured the zeitgeist of pre-Obama America: bigger is better and there’s no such thing as too much. Insatiable, unstoppable, irrational exuberance for all things beef:

The burger is served with fries that are “thrice cooked” in beef drippings and served with a pulled beef Ragu sauce for dipping. Just in case that wasn’t enough cow, the burger also comes with a Bloody Mary made with a beef tomato consommé and “jerky shards.” According to Metro UK, the burger is priced at £25 ($41.88 USD) and contains 2,500 calories. A limited number of the burgers will only be available on Father’s Day

All I can say is “Holy Cow!” (I’m referring to the burger, not…well, you-know-who.)

“All this..for a damn flag!?!”

This isn’t exactly Father’s Day music, butt I think it’s Big Red’s theme song:

Holy Cow

I can’t weep and I can’t eat
Since you walked out on me
Holy smoke, what you doin to me, yeah
I can’t eat and I can’t sleep, yeah
Since you walked out on me, yeah
Holy cow, whatcha doin, child, child

Maybe there’s something about having your father “walk out on you” that permanently messes with a man’s heart – and his soul. All I know is that fathers are very important; don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Happy Fathers Day to all the many truly great fathers out there. And if you have, or had, a great father consider yourself one of the very, very fortunate souls who need not wander the earth in search of your significance.

Updated and Reposted from the Wayback Files!