Funny Camping Jokes

Here are some funny camping jokes for you to chuckle at and share with your fellow campers. All jokes were found via the internet and have unknown authors unless stated. Enjoy!

Funny Camping Jokes

• Take this simple test to see if you qualify for solo camping. Shine a flashlight into one ear. If the beam shines out the other ear, do not go into the woods alone.
• Get even with a bear who raided your food bag by kicking his favorite stump apart and eating all the ants.
• Lint from your navel makes a handy fire starter. Warning: Remove lint from navel before applying the match.
• You’ll never be lost if you remember that moss always grows on the north side of your compass.
• When camping, always wear a long-sleeved shirt. It gives you something to wipe your nose on.
• A potato baked in the coals for one hour makes an excellent side dish. A potato baked in the coals for three hours makes an excellent hockey puck.
• You can start a fire without matches by eating spicy Mexican food, then breathing on a pile of dry sticks.
• In emergency situations, you can survive in the wilderness by shooting small game with a slingshot made from the elastic waistband of your underwear.
• The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite makes excellent kindling.
• A hot rock placed in your sleeping bag will keep your feet warm. A hot enchilada works almost as well, but the cheese sticks between your toes.
• Check the washing instructions before purchasing any apparel to be worn camping. Buy only those that read “Beat on a rock in stream.”
• Bear bells provide an element of safety for hikers in grizzly country. The tricky part is getting them on the bears.
• A great deal of hostility can be released by using newspaper photos of politicians for toilet paper.
• In an emergency, a drawstring from a parka hood can be used to strangle a snoring tent mate.
• It’s entirely possible to spend your whole vacation on a winding mountain road behind a large motor home.
• I don’t care for hiking. The longest hike I ever made was trying to find my car in a Wal-Mart parking lot.
• Why would anybody want to go camping in the woods? Everything out there will either eat you, bite you, or give you a rash.
• A state park is the only place where they have more rules than your parents.
• State parks—that’s where there are more things that you can’t do than you can do.
• A two-man pup tent does not include two men or a pup.
• Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all?” – George Carlin

Q: What kind of car does a rich cow drive?
A: a Cattelac.

Q: What do you call a cow with no legs?
A: Ground Beef

I hope you enjoyed these funny camping jokes. If you are hungry for some more laughter read more of our Funny Camping Jokes. If you know of any other funny camping jokes please feel free to share them in the comment box below. Thanks!

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