Alien Disclosure: A 20-day Scenario Ends On Halloween

WASHINGTON, D.C. – OCTOBER 12, 2011 – THE WHITE HOUSE – White House Chief Science Consultant Robert Gumby has advised President Obama today to step-up research funding into a meteor that hit southwestern Arizona late last year while some scientists are calling its analysis “interesting” after a single organism was isolated this past weekend that hinted of life arriving from off the planet.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – OCTOBER 13, 2011 – THE WHITE HOUSE – President Obama accepted the resignation of White House Chief Science Consultant Robert Gumby after learning that the “single organism” reported yesterday apparently discovered on a meteor fragment from a late 2010 Arizona impact site may actually have been a tiny drop of grape jelly inadvertently dropped onto the meteor piece by a former science consultant from Arizona State University who had breakfast while reviewing samples recently.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – OCTOBER 14, 2011 – THE WHITE HOUSE – White House Press Secretary Jay Carney admitted that the “jelly explanation” was rebutted by the complete scientific staff at Arizona’s “Area 51″ now studying meteor fragments from the December 9, 2010, impact site three miles south of Wilcox, AZ.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – OCTOBER 16, 2011 – THE WHITE HOUSE – Press Secretary Jay Carney announced that scientists at Arizona’s Area 51 Research Laboratory are working around the clock in what they believe may be a single living organism taken from a meteor impact site three miles south of Wilcox, AZ, on December 9, 2010.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – OCTOBER 17, 2011 – THE WHITE HOUSE – Press Secretary Jay Carney and Chief Area 51 Science Commissioner Robert D. Journey jointly announced today that the organism isolated from a meteor fragment at the Wilcox, AZ, impact site is no longer living – but that further studies would be needed to understand if it was alive at some time in the past – most likely floating through deep space for thousands of years.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – OCTOBER 18, 2011 – THE WHITE HOUSE – Press Secretary Jay Carney denied reports of an explosion at Arizona’s Area 51 Research Laboratory early this morning while reports of “several explosions” and “bright lights hovering” over the general area were reported as far away as Tucson.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – OCTOBER 19, 2011 – THE WHITE HOUSE – Press Secretary Jay Carney made a statement without taking questions today describing seven explosions that had occurred early yesterday morning at Arizona’s Area 51 that sent debris skyward – which accounts for the noise nearby residents heard and what was described as more than 15 hovering triangle objects projecting beams of light to the ground level. The explosions, Carney said, were the result of “several helium balloon canisters that ignited during a birthday celebration” and that no one was injured. Meanwhile – more than 70 relatives of Area 51 employees say they have not heard from their Area 51 family member employees in more than 24 hours and have not received a satisfactory explanation from the U.S. military while more than 150 miles of area around the once-secret military complex has been roped off and is being guarded by armed personnel.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – OCTOBER 20, 2011 – THE WHITE HOUSE – President Obama made a statement without taking questions from the Oval Office stating that Area 51 scientists are “relatively sure” the single organism isolated from a meteor fragment near Wilcox, AZ, is indeed alive and that further tests need to be done to understand the life form – which most likely was generated in deep space thousands of light years away while moving through space for more than 30,000 years.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – OCTOBER 21, 2011 – THE WHITE HOUSE – President Obama flatly denied rumors that the Area 51 scientific complex in Arizona has been abandoned during what observers say appears to be a military take-over by dozens of “triangle objects” hovering overhead.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – OCTOBER 22, 2011 – THE WHITE HOUSE – Press Sectetary Jay Carney announced early this morning that unknown triangle-shaped light sources – most likely of a natural origin – continue to hover over the Area 51 scientific complex for the fourth day. The light sources, Carney stated, were most likely naturally generated with the mix of helium and sand during the explosion of multiple tanks during a birthday celebration and should eventually burn themselves off.