Ellen DeGeneres Being Vetted for Hillary Running Mate (Satirical)
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Ellen DeGeneres will be vetted as a potential Vice Presidential candidate for Hillary Clinton. If selected, this would help Hillary’s slumping campaign. We have uncovered three main reasons as to why Ellen should be seen as a viable player. First, Hillary has always had a crush on Ellen’s wife, Portia. Second, it is very important for Hillary to continue supporting the rights and equalization of her LBGT family, just as Barak and Michelle (or Michael: The First Drag Queen) Obama made strides for this special group.
However, the third reason is a Squib News exclusive. Hillary is competitive, and Ellen said that if she ever found herself in the White House, she would do more women than Hillary did when she was the “First Pillow Queen” and “First Beard” (as she was known by her friends when living there with “Little Slip Willy”). Hillary would also benefit from the provocative fan base that Ellen would bring with her.
In addition, Ellen would bring her style by using her own furniture and decorating abilities in the White House and Blair House. This would also keep Portia busy and distract her from her depressing lack of real acting work. As wife of the Vice President, this would be the biggest acting job she has ever had!
Lastly, Hillary has no sense of humor, is very boring in and out of social venues, and cannot dance. Ellen, on the other hand, is the perfect droll for Hillary’s campaign. She’s funny, she’s a brilliant entertainer, and most importantly, she can dance!
Source: http://squibnews.com/2016/05/03/ellen-degeneres-being-vetted-for-hillary-running-mate/
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