Florida Democrat Joe Garcia Goes On A Shopping Trip You Will Not Believe

Joe Garcia is a former Florida Congressman (Florida-26) who was turfed out in 2014 by Republican Carlos Curbelo. He’s running in the Democrat primary for a chance to get his old job back and, right now, he seems to be leading.

Last week, a student journalist stumbled upon Garcia shopping at a Spencer’s outlet in a Florid Mall and snapped pictures of what he was buying:

An unknown paparazzo recently snapped a photo of Garcia standing in front of a vast array of dildos and vibrators at the novelty chain’s store at Dolphin Mall. Wearing a crisp white guayabera and dress slacks, Garcia holds a couple of boxes of what appear to be sex toys.

“That was him buying a gift at the Dolphin Mall,” said Garcia campaign spokesman Juan Peñalosa. He declined further comment.

We don’t know for whom Garcia bought the items or whether he contemplated the speeds, durability, and battery life of the mechanical phalluses before his purchase. But this being the Golden Age of Oversharing, the photos made it into the hands of rabid, homophobic Miami right-wingers.

The homophobic right wingers are, of course, people poking fun at Garcia and speculating to what use he may put the Costco-sized pack of vibrators that he checked out with.

I suspect, being a Democrat, Garcia intends to use them of the voters of FL-26 if he wins because one older guy can only screw a very limited number of taxpayers.

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