Formula for Finding the Right One!

With half of marriages ending in divorce and so many married couples still unhappy, this topic begs a look. Many might be happy if they kept two points in mind.

This author thought he was happily married when his first wife of 20 years left him. He was in a stressful marriage for 19 more years when his wife die. He’s now been happily married for five years and sees that it’s not rocket science; he wants to share two important considerations.

1. A pastor was asked to marry a young couple, but the parents of the girl didn’t want them to marry and appealed to him. He told the couple he would marry them on one condition. They should spend a week visiting each evening to discuss anything they wanted to talk about, but no hugging or kissing. They agreed, and the young lady called after a couple days and said, “He’s the biggest bore I’ve ever seen.” She had been misled by her feelings in the sharing of affection.
   Couples think they love each other when they share physical affection, but physical affection and sex are like frosting on the cake of marriage, but all frosting and no cake makes us sick soon. Ultimately the mind is the greatest sex organ and we are looking for a relationship with some that is close to our equal for the long term.

2. A 2^nd illustration comes from Focus on the Family that described 1^st century marriages when a man and his son would visit the home of a man and his daughter. The men would talk price, and the young couple might be talking for the first time. Nevertheless, they probably talked about everything—work, money, kids, sex, friends, religion, etc. If both conversations were agreeable, the young man would offer the young lady a cup of grape juice, as if to say, This is my blood—I would shed it for you! If she accepted the cup, they were officially engaged and would have to get a divorce not to go through with it.

The point of this example is to cover all topics that are important so life doesn’t throw curves later. And not only “cover” the topics, but to be honest in sharing so that we are realistic in expectations.

In our day of common core or rotten-to-the-core education with its focus on sex education and alternatives, the real core curriculum gets short shrift with little focus on homemaking, cooking or nutrition. How to prepare wholesome tasty and varied meals day after day is overlooked as if it’s as easy as going to McDonald’s.

Religion is an important area. The Bible says, Can two walk together except they be agreed? One can visit dating websites that include the religious perspective like ChristianSinglesDating.com and use their computer search to find someone with similar views.

Dr. Richard Ruhling has a website http://ChooseABetterDestiny.com with links addressing some of these issues. His primary interest in retirement is Bible prophecy and he believes Christians must make a covenant (agree to conditions that the Bible specifies) in order to become the Bride of Christ. http://TheBridegroomComes.com