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What this beheaded Christian said from beyond the grave just destroyed the Huffington Post and brought liberals to their knees!

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A few minutes ago I was beheaded by ISIS for refusing to renounce my Christian faith. Finally relieved of my mortal cares I now have a moment to address some of the REAL outrages that don’t get the attention they deserve.


So the other day I was on social media, and I saw this remarkable video produced by The Huffington Post reminding us that “Hate and Bigotry is Toxic for Everyone – not just Muslims.” Amen to that! – strange though… I can’t recall a Huffington Post video documenting the murderous bigotry that my Christian community faced from ISIS. But I guess we all have our priorities, and I suppose Huffington Post thinks some things are worth losing our heads over.

Sure, my family was annihilated, and my head severed for the world to see on social media, but it’s not as if ISIS had done something genuinely horrible – like perhaps declining to bake a wedding cake for a gay couple, or refusing sign a same-sex marriage license. I mean, ok, ISIS has thrown gay people from rooftops – but have you SEEN Kim Davis’s jumper? THAT’s an atrocity! At least they gave me this sweet orange one – and I’m not complaining, well technically I can’t…

So anyway… even if ISIS routinely kills gays, at least they’re not so uncivilized by quoting from Leviticus in their presence.

And while Middle Eastern Christians are slaughtered to the greater glory of the Prophet Mohammed — oh, PEACE BE UPON HIM and all that — I want to shower my praises on the Huffington Post for bravely challenging cis-gendered stereotypes and denouncing micro-aggressions against sensitive people.

You know… Before my throat was cut and my head ripped from my torso, I had little time to worry about matters like that.

So from the afterlife I want to present my sincere thanks to the Huffington Post for sharing its enlightenment with me about the plight of Muslims in America. Maybe some day they’ll experience the kind of enlightenment ISIS brought to my village.

Now that would be something to report on…

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