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By Arthur Trafford
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Parents, teachers, and religious leaders of all faiths TOTALLY IGNORE that ALL SINGLES have SEXUAL DESIRES AND NEEDS while they are single.

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Throughout human history, people of faith have been embarrassed and fearful about their own sexuality. Too ashamed to promote the below essay as being a message from the Spirit of Emmanuel (meaning God with us) in order to help us not-just-survive but prosper and enjoy sexual purity, and pleasure and not defraud another person made in the image of God, while we are single.


I have noticed that in every decade that I have lived in as a teenager or adult, MOST parents, teachers, and religious leaders of all faiths TOTALLY IGNORE that ALL SINGLES in the childbearing years have SEXUAL NEEDS that need to be EXPERIENCED while they are single.


If all singles met their own sexual needs and did not defraud other people; then there would be fewer rapes, date rapes, child sexual abuse, incest, abortions, and sexual promiscuity.

Teaching abstinence is great, but that idea alone doesn’t eliminate the problem of lust.

For singles: Freedom from sexual pressure ESSAY

I have always thought that it was the religious faith that we embrace that motivates all of us to be sexually and morally pure in our state of mind and body. We can think that it is “A still small voice” of God that motivates us to do what is right concerning sexual purity, but early childhood experiences teach us ideas that God never intended us to believe about ourselves.

Parents, teachers, family members, friends, religion, and even strangers will try to motivate older children, teenagers, and adults through logic, deductive reasoning, bribery, rewards, and collusion; but the minds of very young children are emotionally driven and logic is beyond their understanding.

You can tell a very young child that God loves them and that they are special, but their experiences in life will seem more truthful than your positive thoughts expressed. If a child stops playing with a toy in the bathtub and runs naked out into the living room as his mother is greeting a group of people and he is severely scolded by his mother who has a very angry, fearful, or hysterical countenance; you can bet he is wondering why he is being shamed, punished with harsh words and spanked in front of others. Or if he is in the kitchen and shirtless with only his underwear on, and he puts his hand inside his underwear and scratches himself and he is spanked for his actions. You can bet he feels his sexuality is dirty, sinful, and very much something to be ashamed of. And if she is very religious she might even add “God doesn’t love you when you do that”.

Even when parents and others go out of their way to ensure their child isn’t shamed, their child can still pick up messages from other children who are treated badly and therefore they claim the message conveyed as also belonging to them. Everyone has their own set of demons that torments them and if we are careful; we don’t have to pass on our sexual fears and prudishness to the 3rd and 4th generation in our family.

What is the best way for humans to have “Real victory” over sexual temptation and lessen our desire to violate our commitment to moral purity before God, self, and others? Wouldn’t it be great if all public, private and religious schools would teach young people and adults to not be ashamed or embarrassed by their bodies or of sexual pleasure?

Every child is reminded to not drink a lot of water before going to bed, because no adult wants to be inconvenienced early in the morning. Every group before getting on a bus or in a car is reminded to take their restroom brake so that no one has to make an emergency stop and no one wets or soils their clothes. So our parents and educational system (at all levels) should teach every citizen of our country that they need to “Defuse” their raging sex hormone problem before they are tempted to defraud another person in a relationship.

God gives us a strong sex drive that is supposed to motivate us to get married so that we don’t have “Unnecessary temptations” to be confronted with or have to resist. An individual getting married mainly for sex is the main reason for the high divorce rate. Bringing too much emotional baggage into a relationship or being a high-maintenance mate are other reasons for the breakup of marriages. Permanent celibacy is never a Heavenly mandate from God, and the lawsuits against religious leaders prove that point very clearly and succinctly.

In these last 6,000 years, Satan gets you, me, and others to believe and teach that no one has the right to enjoy any sexual pleasures while single. In Christianity and other religions, we are made to believe we need to suffer in our single years; and marriage is our only hope of deliverance from lustful thoughts and actions. We treat our bodies very cruelly. If my bladder or colon needs to be emptied I will search for a restroom and solve my problem. But if my body wants and demands a sexual release; then everyone tells me that I need to be more spiritual and ignore my sex drive; this is easier said than done. In our youth, it is very difficult to get to sleep if we don’t deal with our sex drive.

If I have a next-door neighbor named Sam and I asked him, “Would you approve of my 18-year-old son having sex with your 18-year-old daughter; or would you rather my son meet his own sexual needs at home, before they go on a date”. Sam will consider my son and his daughter more righteous if they “Both” do not defraud each other on a date and they should seek to meet their own sexual needs in solitude. They need a mother-daughter talk; and a father-son talk. The misinformation that children pick up on coupled with fearful parents afraid of the truth about self-pleasure; reveals that this truth can set all of us free from the lies we believed in our childhood, teenage and adult years.

I can understand why amoral individuals representing organizations that want to capitalize on unwanted pregnancies will encourage teens and adults to take their condoms and enjoy themselves for a season of pleasure. But when caring and loving people of faith completely ignore the most logical way to drain off unwanted sexual tension they promote lustful acts and that starts the arousal of the sexual predator that is in all males and females). We are messengers of God to bring deliverance to those captivated by their own basic primal instincts when we encourage singles to meet their own sexual needs.

When we are very young children, our parents were “Literally” like Gods to us; they seem to know everything, were all-powerful and demanded complete obedience from us (just like God). Very soon in life, we dethrone our human gods and hopefully put the Creator God on the throne of our lives. But even then, most of us continue to think sexual pleasure is to be resisted and feared at all times while single.

Do you realize that if God had put the dense concentration of nerve endings in one of our elbows instead of our sex organ; we would be ashamed of our elbow (because it feels so good to touch it) and at the same time we would look for someone to message our elbow for us?

Some peoples and tribes around the world are less plagued with sexual phobias that modern-day societies struggle to cope with. Their women go topless and no female feels shamed or lusted after. Mainly because they only look at female breasts as human milk machine dispensers (and are not identified or considered as a sex objects). Until most of the world would adopt that viewpoint, there is no way a sinful self-centered world can embrace their lifestyle.

The main physical reason we wear clothes is because of climate changes and sanitary concerns. Even if all people on earth had high moral values, we would still feel more comfortable in this fallen world if others wore clothes. Since our bodies are chemical factories and emit bodily fluids, no one would want to sit where other people sat if it weren’t for clothes.

Theologically speaking, it would be impossible for God to disapprove of anyone meeting their own sexual needs; simply because it is “Our own” body; lust always involves another person. As long as you don’t involve someone in person, via phone, picture, magazine, etc. then you haven’t defrauded anyone; and you are still righteous in spirit, mind, and body.

If all singles met their own sexual needs and did not defraud other people; then there would be fewer rapes, date rapes, child sexual abuse, incest, abortions, and sexual promiscuity.

Teaching abstinence is great: But that idea alone doesn’t eliminate

the problem of lust. Sincerely, [email protected] 409-797-9309

P.S. Most educational and religious leaders don’t care to offer single religious people a way to flee from youthful lust. God gives all humans the same way to escape sexual temptation; either a mate is responsible to meet the sexual needs of a person, or a single person has the responsibility to meet their own sexual needs until God gives them a mate!!! Any other viewpoint is cruel, unloving, unreasonable, and demonic.

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