In Which I Nearly Blind Myself Only to be Rescued by a Friend

As a mother to 4 boys, I learned early on that great eyelashes are wasted on the male sex. Why?  Seriously!  Why is that?  It just isn’t fair that I have these short, fine, blond, hardly even there lashes when my husband and boys get these lush, thick, dark beauties.  (With the exception of my red-head who sports long, thick, gorgeous white lashes.)  It’s totally not fair.

Take a look at me with no makeup:

My lashes are so stick straight, they won’t even curl.  And I’ve tried all the tricks… so don’t go there, I’ll just feel bitter and resentful.

One of my BFF’s had my issue and she had someone glue on some that lasted a few weeks and she LOVES them.  But I can’t afford to spend $50 plus bucks every three weeks to get it done… besides it takes some time, and with two little ones in tow, time to sit still and get my lashes put on is time I don’t have.

So I decided to give the glue on ones a try.

Let me start by telling you something about the south.  When bad weather is rolling in, everyone and their dog is over to Walmart buying out food, water, flashlights, and apparently fake lashes.  Not kidding you.  It’s like “Holy crap a tornado is coming!!  Stock up on fake eye-lashes!!”

I made the mistake of going on such a day and almost died right there in the cosmetic aisle.  So I ran for my life, using my cart as a battering ram to make my escape, and decided to come back when crazy wasn’t in the air.

Finally, a week later, they restocked and I was able to buy a pair.

I even bought some glue.

And I guess I didn’t do it good enough because they fell off in my food at Texas Roadhouse on my anniversary date.  It’s true, I just blinked and off fluttered the left right into my ranch dressing.  The right one landed by my honey butter roll a few seconds later.  I was smooth and slipped them quickly into my napkin, and Ben was so busy focusing on the onion blossom, he luckily missed all the action. Ha. Men.

But I forgave my fakies and decided to give them another chance when Ben took me out on my birthday.  This time, I totally over did the glue.  First, I glued my eyes shut. Then my lashes keep sticking together throughout the night… I couldn’t wait to get them off when I got home, but they wouldn’t come off!  I started to cry.  The stupid things were ripping off my skin and real lashes!  I had to finally google how to remove super glue, because makeup remover was just NOT working.  So there I was late at night dabbing nail polish remover on my eye lids.  Thankfully, I didn’t get any in my eyes and my lids were only swollen and rashy for a few days.

But I couldn’t forgive the fakies this time.  In the trash they went with my hopes of having lush lashes.

Now, I had heard of Younque.  I actually had a “friend” on Facebook that was trying to sell the special mascara.  Emphasis on HAD.  She unfriended me because I was ignoring all her party invites.  Normally, I NEVER talk about people in a bad-ish way, but since we are no longer Facebook buds… well, all bets are off.  (Moral of story, don’t unfriend me or I will seek evil revenge on my blog… MWAhahahahahaHA! PS: I hope you know I’m kidding, right?;) )

Since then I have learned that Girlfriend did NOT know how to use her product.  The reason I never joined her party or bought anything from her was because she looked like she had some kind of black, hairy growths on her eyes.  They were thick and chunky and just scary as hell.  No freaking way I was going to buy into that, I’d rather take my chances with the fakies, thank you very much.

Then a few months ago, one of my closer, nicer, sweeter friends who would NEVER unfriend me, started selling it and she made it look AMAZING!

Her name is Nichelle, and look how gorgeous she is:

I thought at first that she just had really great lashes anyway… but she sent me a before shot too:

So I started following her parties and pretty much Facebook stalked — you know the creepy silent watcher who never comments.  Yeah, that’s me sometimes… makes you really want to be my Facebook friend, right?!

Something about me:  I hate spending money on myself.  I REALLY hate it.  I just feel the boys have bigger needs than I do, so forking out the funds for mascara was just not going to happen right now.

Then one day, Nichelle messaged me and asked me if I would review the mascara if she sent me some.  Well, well, well… I guess my silent stalking does pay off once in a while.

When it came in the mail, I was excited and nervous at the same time.  What if my lashes don’t look as awesome as Nichelle’s.  What if they look like Girlfriend’s tarantula eyes?  It took me a couple days to be brave enough to give them a go.  Well, I couldn’t get my lashes to curl… and because of that, I really couldn’t see the length because they were sticking straight out.  At least, they didn’t look like hairy monsters… but I needed to know how Nichelle made hers so perfect.  She told me that she uses a eyelash brush.  What the heck is that?!  Oh, that little brush thing that comes in the makeup brush packs that I just chuck in the trash?  So that’s what it’s for…

She was so sweet and sent me a video on how to use it… I still need to go buy one.

But I owed her a blog post, like last week, so the brush will have to wait for now.  I feel like the mascara does give me some length, some body and thickness, and it makes my eyes pop in a pleasant and non-painful way.  And the best part is that I don’t have to glue anything on.

Here is my before, with mascara, and with Younique in the last one:

Here is a little info Nichelle sent to me: