Thankfulness as a Choice

The internet is a wonderfully international place, with numerous glimpses into interesting cultural traditions all over the world. Because of that, American Thanksgiving is probably one of the more obscure global offerings, appreciated mostly by Americans, although I think even that is changing. Whether it’s because of the rising costs of food and travel, substitution of family with political loyalties, or because of manipulative name-calling meant to shame Americans about their cultural traditions, it seems there is a lot to complain about regarding this holiday. And that brings me to my blog post title, “Thankfulness as a Choice.”

I think this is an important topic because in general, it seems that more and more people are not happy. They are not content. The list of things to complain about seems to be ever growing: job, finances, physical appearance, politics, politicians, the government, spouses, gender, inflation, taxes, the weather, the environment, morality, ethics, equity, justice, product quality, social compliance, neighbors, the traffic, what so-and-so did or said, what they didn’t do or say, and (heaven forbid) someone is wrong on the internet. And that’s just the short list. 

Years ago, I heard a saying that stuck with me. “The poor are luckier than the rich because they don’t know yet that money can’t make them happy.” Some people won’t get that, but I think at some level or another, most people understand happiness based on circumstances is brief and fleeting. 

I spent many years of my life trying to make people happy because I thought it would make them like me. Eventually, I figured out this doesn’t work. That if I change in the thing they don’t like, they’ll just find something else to complain about. Eventually, I figured out that complaining is a habit. And like all habits, it can be changed. If one is willing to do the work to change it.

What’s this got to do with homesteading (the focus of my blog)? A lot, because I think our perception of our circumstances is key to homesteading success. Most of us making an attempt at it figure out pretty quickly that homesteading isn’t about replicating our accustomed modern lifestyle in a more natural setting. If the stated goal is increased self-reliance, that necessitates lifestyle changes. Neither society at large, nor nature are very cooperative in this endeavor, which means it requires a fair amount of commitment and determination to succeed. It also requires accepting that some (many) things are beyond our control. And that leaves us with a choice: complain or look for some small something to be thankful for. 

Many of you tell me that while you appreciate my lifestyle, it’s something you would never choose for yourselves. Which is okay. I agree it isn’t for everybody. But the world is experiencing a time when many people are having to tighten their belts and look at ways to change. What Dan and I have done by choice, is being imposed on many of you through no choice of your own. I empathize deeply, and hope that my posts (both present and past), and books can offer some helpful and encouraging ideas. 

However, even useful changes will be sabotaged by negativity. And that’s what complaining reinforces, a habit of negativity. It’s a choice, however, and unfortunately, I think some people really like being negative. Or think that if they don’t complain, nothing will change. The irony is that when we have no control over a thing, change is mostly a matter of attitude. 

So, to my fellow Americans who still celebrate this holiday, I wish you Happy Thanksgiving! To everyone else, I encourage you to focus on things you are happy for, rather than on what you are unhappy about. I encourage you to choose thankfulness.

Parting shot: