One of our favorite television shows is the original 1978 series of All Creatures Great and Small. A minor theme of the story that we especially appreciate, is the worldview and attitudes of the Yorkshire Dales people themselves; the smallhold farmers who were the clients of veterinarians James Herriot and Siegfried Farnon. Their individual personalities were as varied as anywhere else, of course, but it was the way they faced life and especially hardship that is notable. Typically hospitable and generous, when difficult circumstances came, they would take it in stride. “These things happen,” they would say. And they would press on.
This has caused me to pay attention to my own reactions when something bad happens, because typical human reactions stand in a huge contrast when things go wrong: anger, frustration, complaining, and blaming are the norm. As “normal” as these may seem, I find it hard to admire someone who explodes when something unfortunate happens. I don’t want to be that kind of person.
Of unfortunate circumstances, I would say there are two types. Some are the direct result of our actions, i.e. cause and effect at work. As Dr. Phil says, “When you choose the behavior, you choose the consequences.” I see being able to admit mistakes and errors in judgement as a sign of maturity, something that is increasingly rare these days.
Sometimes, there is no logical cause for what happens. Once upon a time, these were referred to as “acts of God,” and pretty much covered most natural disasters. Another term to describe this is “bad luck.” I have to add that dealing with livestock the way Dan and I do, I know from experience that bad things can happen even when we’re doing our best. In our early days of homesteading, the tendency was to blame and berate ourselves, trying to figure out what we did wrong. We became discouraged. All of this, of course, is an emotional reaction, which never helps solve things.
I think there’s been an unfortunate trend over the years which focuses on the importance of our feelings. We’re told “follow your heart.” I don’t know about you, but I have found feelings to be exceedingly fickle. And very easy to manipulate. All of which means they are not a reliable indicator of reality. Feelings are an important part of our human experience, but I think they serve us better if they are under the reign of self-control.
Hopefully, I’m never too old to learn. And that includes learning to accept circumstances and outcomes that I wish weren’t, learning to accept things that are beyond my control, even learning useful lessons from the situation. Some people might consider this fatalistic and see “giving up” as defeat, but constantly fighting against the universe gets wearisome. Nobody like to be defeated, but I’m coming to understand that defeat is often only an emotional perception. Set that aside, and grace comes with acceptance. There’s more strength in coming to terms with reality than in constantly trying to fight it.
I suppose what I’m trying to realize here, is that we humans always have a choice. It may not be the ability to determine the outcomes, but I always have a choice in how I react. James Herriot portrayed the farming folk of Yorkshire as amazingly resilient because they somehow understood these things. It’s a quality I admire and want to make my own.
Source:
https://www.5acresandadream.com/2024/03/these-things-happen.html
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