Separate not Separated

Separate not Separated

by Paul Kowalewski

I find that when it comes to talking about the spirituality of “the self” I often get very bogged down in the language. The contemplative, mystical traditions of all the various major world religions pretty much agree that there is a difference between “self” and “ego,” and I often turn to Buddhism to help me distinguish between the two.

Buddhists teach that the “idea” of an isolated, separated individual ego is nothing more than an illusion, a human construct – it doesn’t exist. The “true self” is a relationship- a complex web of relationship with everyone and everything that is.

This is all well and good, but as a friend of mine recently pointed out, while we may not be separated, we are separate. Human beings aren’t all a massive “blob” thinking with one mind or living in one body. We are separate individuals.

So this is exactly the point at which I often get bogged down – How is it that I am a separate individual and at the same time not isolated or separated from the complex web of humanity?

Yesterday I had one of those wonderful moments of clarity, a flash of insight about my separate, not separated self. It came in the form of a few simple sentences, an elegant metaphor and wise teaching that I found in a recent article by the well-known American Buddhist teacher, Lama Surya Das:

We’re like bubbles in the sea.

When the bubble merges with the sea, it realizes that it’s never been apart.

It’s H2O all the way.

So you don’t have to slay your ego;

you just have to see through your separateness.

You can have a healthy sense of self without being an egoist.

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