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By It\\\\\\\'s Just Raquel
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My Future Husband Won't Complete Me

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In today’s culture, I feel like there’s one extreme or the other.

1) Men complete women when the two are in a relationship or married


2) Men are just equal people on this earth and add nothing to a woman being her own individual self.

I don’t agree with either of these statements.

I don’t think anyone completes anyone else.  My future husband won’t complete me.  I’m not half of anything.  I am my own human, my own soul.  My heart is already pieced together.  Not by a man, but by my Savior.

I believe God created us as equal humans but with distinct and individual roles.  This doesn’t mean that one is inferior to the other.  It simply signifies that we each function differently according to our gender.

My value as a human does not vary according to my relationship status.  My identity and worth is not determined by if I’m in a relationship or married or single.
I am complete already.
I am whole.
I am not a half.
Do I, someday, want to be married and committed to one man and raise children together?  Absolutely.  But that will have no affect on my identification.  My life will change, yes.  I will be known as the wife to a man, and the mother to specific children, but my soul will not be labeled any differently.  I will be “joined together” with a man “as husband and wife” but we’re not completing each other.  We’re simply adding one whole to another whole to make one big whole as an awesome superpower duo.

But still…
My husband won’t complete me.
I am not incapable of being on my own.
I am not half of anything, waiting to be made whole.

This is something we need to teach this world.  Especially this generation.

But we need to learn it first.  We, as women, need to realize this truth about ourselves before we can encourage others to do the same.

“Codependency isn’t sexy.  It isn’t romantic.  It’s build with a fuse and will surely burn out.  The healthiest thing you can say to someone you love is, “I would be okay without you, and that is why I choose to stay.”

-LB, “A Few Things About Love”


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    • Jay

      I suggest you remain single. Marriage is a union that requires sacrifice and surrender of the individual for the union. Add to that a child and you are mostly eclipsed by others. You can’t have it all as the modern world claims. Marriage and child rearing is by it’s very nature acts of giving not taking. Once one enters into that union there is no more self there is just us. THe divorce rate is enormous because people get married for selfish reasons, once in the relationship they find this dose not work. if you by nature are a taker and more self centered then a giver and selfless then marriage and children are not in the cards for you if you want to be happy with yourself and others stay single it’s your nature.

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