Self-Honesty: Where All Healing Begins

By Jack Adam Weber

Contributing writer for Wake Up World

Self-honesty is the most important kind of honesty because true change and healing cannot happen without it.

When we are emotionally triggered or challenged by something someone says, logic and honest self-reflection have a hard time sinking in. When in a dispute or disagreement with someone who will not see the facts, and who keeps shooting down your logic, we can feel helpless to get them to reckon with reality.

After years of meditating on this dynamic and trying just about everything to get through someone’s defenses, the best way I know to approach such an impasse is to ask them: “When you vulnerably look into your heart with an honest mind, what truth do you find there?”

The reason for this approach is that no amount of logic is going to get another person (or 99% of folks) to see the light when they have an emotional investment about facts that counters their existing framework of reality. This is called cognitive dissonance: an inability to believe what contradicts current knowledge, often because it’s just too scary to turn one’s world upside down with new knowledge. Few people are willing to be their own skeptic.

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