I think that we sometimes try to make things not seem as awful and ugly as they really are. We don’t like facing reality, especially when it comes to our own hearts and lives. We try to remind ourselves of what we have heard in the past – that there is beauty in the pain, that beautiful things rise from the ashes, that love is a battlefield, that healing is a good journey.
And sometimes, we find ourselves in these circumstances or situations that we never dreamed of being in, and they make us feel like maybe we are missing something. Because this is definitely not how we have heard things are supposed to happen.
But you know what?
Life is messy. And no two journeys are the same. And sometimes we need to realize that and allow ourselves to acknowledge that we won’t always find beauty in the pain, and some loves aren’t meant to last, and being broken is okay, and sometimes “healing” looks a lot like “hurting”.
I have discovered many things on my own journey of healing. I think the biggest and most beautiful realization I came to, though, was this:
There will be no other time in eternity that I will have the opportunity to worship God through my pain.
That’s a crazy thought, isn’t it? Heaven won’t have any sin or darkness or suffering within its walls of light and love. So right here, on this earth, is the only time that we will experience sadness and hardships… and even through those moments, we still have the privilege of worshipping our Creator. That even when it hurts, we can still praise Him.
That puts things into perspective, doesn’t it? And honestly, I believe that is the deepest level of worship because no matter how much we “feel” like praising Him, having faith in His promises and worshipping Him in spite of whatever unpleasant circumstances we face, He sees our humble hearts that are still striving to glorify Him amidst the blinding pain. And declaring the greatness of a sovereign God while standing with an open wound is a powerful act of true worship. It shifts our focus from our pain, to the Healer. It will pierce the chaos and confusion and make way for healing and revival. And that is a beautiful breakthrough.
Healing might look a lot like hurting, but wow is that journey full of grace and goodness. We are never left to flounder in our pain. We are not meant to live lives of regret and shame. Our temporary residence here on earth isn’t meant to be survived. We were created to worship and glorify our King, to thrive in His abundant grace, and to bask in His redemption.
Remember that no pain is wasted in His hands. Even if the outcome is simply to be a beacon of hope for others who are experiencing life hurts. They may find healing in your wounds. They may feel the most ministered through your deepest hurts. And when they see you worshipping, while also knowing everything you have gone through and experienced, healing becomes attractive – because it was never about you. You, alone, in your pain isn’t a pretty sight. Pain is scary. It’s something we shy away from. But how we choose to handle our hurt is all a testament of Who we choose to serve. This is why it is so important to share our stories because when we tell people about our past, our journey, up until the present here and now, they get to secondhand witness God’s goodness over our lives.
“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.”
- Romans 8:18
So when you can’t find beauty in the pain, remind yourself that it is temporary. But even in that pain, God can – and should still – be glorified. Jesus came to this earth as a man so that He could identify with us. He humbled Himself enough to get down in the nitty gritty, to feel the pain, to be hurt, to be betrayed. He understands sorrow, gut-wrenching pain, ugly crying, loneliness. And He knows all you have been through. He is the only one who has seen every one of your broken moments. And still, He remains.
Remember what I said about your deepest wounds being your greatest source of ministry? Well, Jesus has the scars to prove His.
“Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when His glory is revealed.”
- 1 Peter 4:12-13
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