There are a few things, however, that I have noticed about myself as my retirement continues. I am not sure if these are just the feelings of an aging man or typical of retired life.
I love mornings and I hate nights. Morning for me represents new life. It is a new beginning and a new gift. I look forward to every day. There is never anything to dread. The worst thing about any day is that I may have a few chores and errands to complete. These always seem to happen on days when I don’t want to do anything. I love my freedom. I can mostly do anything I want whenever I want. Admittedly, I dread the ending of a day and the approaching night. Unlike during my working days I am never exhausted. Therefore I never long for my bed. In retirement I can eat when I am hungry and nap when I am tired. Sometimes I wish I never needed to go to bed at all. The darkness of night seems like death. The worst times of my day are always at night. These are times I can’t sleep or I feel restless. Many nights I toss and turn and wake up. Often when I wake up it seems like it takes forever to fall back asleep. When nature calls I feel like the only person in the world who is awake. The bottom line is that night time seems like a battle or an endurance test. In the middle of the night I long for the sunrise. I have also noticed that it is always at night when I worry or fear for the future. At 3:00 AM it is relatively easy to create scenarios in your head about everything that can go wrong in your life. I never worry or feel fearful in the light of day.
My retirement is very simple and I like it that way. I do not have a bucket list and there aren’t thousands of goals that I want to attain now that I have the time. I like my quiet and simple life. I wake up naturally and usually early. It is a rare thing to sleep past 8:00 AM. My breakfast is usually some granola followed by several cups of coffee. While eating and drinking my coffee I watch a little news. The news is generally depressing so I have been making a concerted effort to cut back on time spent watching the news. I also spent a little time each day on checking email and social media. I would like to spend less time on social media but sadly I am as addicted as most other people. I thought I would read a lot more than I am doing. There are stacks of unread books in my room waiting to be read. It may never happen. I do, however, still listen to a lot of music because it gives me a great deal of joy. Most days I walk in the park. I need the exercise and I love being in nature.
So, for the most part, life is good and I am a happy and content man. No one needs to worry about me. I am doing great.
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