Re-parenting the Self for New Beginnings

March 27th, 2020

By Susan Hassen

Guest writer for Wake Up World

How many of us were truly parented? How many of us had all our emotional needs met as children? Chances are, the majority of us did not receive the nurturing and emotional support that we needed growing up, leaving us with certain voids that we look to fill elsewhere. We can empower ourselves as adults by not looking at those voids as empty holes, but rather, as opportunities to genuinely parent ourselves as adults and feed ourselves with all the validation, nurturing, encouragement, and unconditional love we needed as children.

Why We Need Re-parenting

Very few of us emerge from our childhoods unscathed. Whether it be from emotional abuse, physical abuse, or trauma, most of us enter adulthood with wounds that we need to heal ourselves. Some of us can grow up in the most loving and supportive households, yet have many emotional needs that our parents overlooked, withheld us from, or were not capable of providing because they never met those needs in themselves. For example, if you grew up around adults who couldn’t show love and allow themselves to be vulnerable, you may have trouble expressing your emotions and showing love to yourself and others. Maybe your parents made you feel wrong for expressing yourself or having different values or goals from what they expected of you? If you were ever shamed or discouraged for being yourself, you may carry that in the form of self-hate and low self-worth and self-esteem. Many of us had parents who had no clear boundaries so we grew up not understanding how to respect them or assert them because our parents had no concept of boundaries for us. This in turn affects our ability to respect other’s boundaries and set our own.

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Recommended articles by Susan Hassen:

• Setting Boundaries: The World’s Collective Medicine
• Inner Child Work: The Missing Piece in the Spiritual Evolution Puzzle
• Grounding: The Gift of Being in Your Body

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