March 18th, 2021
Guest Writer for Wake Up World
A year ago to the day, I remember the slight trepidation I felt as I boarded a flight back to Bali in February for a retreat I was hosting there in mid-March. As a global nomad, this tremor of fear was a strange and unfamiliar emotion to feel with regards to travel, but the world was already buzzing then with the panic of a novel virus that has since escalated into the global pandemic we live in today.
I’ve never been someone to get caught up in collective worry, and always kept a cool head about my nomadic lifestyle even when people would warn me about various dangers. But in early April, even I was swept over by the fear for my own health and for those I love, and caught one of the last flights out of Bali to move into lockdown and isolation back in the US as we all waited for the storm to pass by in 2020. I was fortunate enough to be in Oregon, where access to nature was my sole link to sanity and reconnection to myself amidst the craziness unfolding around me.
I soon realized the virus was not in fact a threat to my own health, but I lived in respect and compassion for those for whom it was, and the new rules protecting them. But even then, I lived with this fear in my heart that I could infect my mom or someone close to me, and the desolation of our masked up and shut-down “new normal” started to pervade my normally optimistic outlook that this would all be over soon.
It was as though the virus was bound and determined to penetrate my consciousness, even if I had already chosen not to fear it. It was everywhere, all around me – on the news, on the streets, in the eyes of the man looking suspiciously at me from inside his 6-foot circle on the floor at Whole Foods. Pretty soon, it got to me – life was never getting back to normal, and we were all going to have to live with these new restrictions on our freedom and in our hearts.
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