Gorilla Monsoon, 1990 Classic WWF (Pro Wrestling Week No. 6)

Name: Gorilla Monsoon
From: Manchuria
Signature moves: Airplane Spin, announcing other wrestlers’ signature moves
Value of card: One DVD copy of “Gorillas in the Mist” with a big scratch on it
Key 1990 stat: Surprisingly, afraid of both apes and summer thunderstorms
Clearing up some rumors about Gorilla Monsoon:

• Gorilla Monsoon did not work part-time as a strip club doorman. But he did know the doorman by name.
• Gorilla Monsoon did not dye his hair. He just slept better when his head was covered in motor oil.
• Gorilla Monsoon is not the first person in history to make a red tuxedo look good. Nobody has made a red tuxedo look good.
• Gorilla Monsoon was, in fact, a pro wrestler before becoming the WWF’s play-by-play announcer. So he was used to looking this ridiculous.
• Gorilla Monsoon was not his real name, of course. His real name was Gorilla Haboob.